tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-486836004893344372.post4105299693737616438..comments2023-08-17T14:31:17.423+01:00Comments on Innocent Loverboy: Welcome to hell.Innocent Loverboyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16564876728079783376noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-486836004893344372.post-51058056916163819552010-10-08T18:27:02.179+01:002010-10-08T18:27:02.179+01:00Eugh, I can't believe how awful your mentors s...Eugh, I can't believe how awful your mentors seem to have been. I very much sympathise with you, ILB. This is simply not what anyone wants or needs, these two major complications at the same time. <br /><br />Hopefully, as a few people have already considered, once things have been allowed to settle themselves, TD and yourself can get talking over some more positive aspects.<br /><br />I get your frustration, and wish that things get back on the more-or-less right track soon.<br /><br />Hugs, <br />LP xxxladypandorahhttp://ladypandorah.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-486836004893344372.post-46266158705775202082010-10-04T09:53:50.265+01:002010-10-04T09:53:50.265+01:00Thanks, Deanna. Don't worry, the new improved ...Thanks, Deanna. Don't worry, the new improved ILB is just around the corner... although, from the looks of things, it's just like the old ILB, except having had the courage to shift this dead weight of a terrible course from around his neck. Ammounts to pretty much the same thing, in the end!Innocent Loverboyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16564876728079783376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-486836004893344372.post-59888386543495460862010-10-02T16:21:24.721+01:002010-10-02T16:21:24.721+01:00I'm so sorry to hear that your mentors have be...I'm so sorry to hear that your mentors have been crap. If you don't want the job then maybe it is for the best, but it's never good to fail something because of someone else's incompetence!<br /><br />Regarding TD - she obviously still loves you or she would have broken up rather than going on a break. Speaking from experience though it takes two to tango and you need to think about why she's upset otherwise the break won't work. If I were you, I'd try to sort some things out so that when she gets back to you you can wow her with the new improved ILB!<br /><br />Good luck hun with everything - we're all rooting for you!Miss Deannanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-486836004893344372.post-73649734459943618052010-10-01T00:10:56.864+01:002010-10-01T00:10:56.864+01:00Thanks, Scarlet. I should start looking for jobs a...Thanks, Scarlet. I should start looking for jobs at some point; I've made some tentative prods, actually, but may not throw myself in until next week when I've a) had adequate rest, and b) know what the status of my diploma might be.Innocent Loverboyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16564876728079783376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-486836004893344372.post-82061769584003945982010-09-30T17:51:34.108+01:002010-09-30T17:51:34.108+01:00I'm really sorry hon that you're having su...I'm really sorry hon that you're having such a sucky time :(. As far as finding a "career" goes, I still don't know what I actually want to do, and I've been in my job for 6 years! You'll find the path that is right for you soon enough.<br /><br />With regards to being on a break... Hopefully that's all it is, I know I shall keep my fingers crossed for you.Scarlethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13871873235314701849noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-486836004893344372.post-26521343281135388262010-09-29T21:26:25.055+01:002010-09-29T21:26:25.055+01:00Piggy: Thanks. I tried to teach English overseas -...Piggy: Thanks. I tried to teach English overseas - I minored in Japanese at university (first time 'round), and applied to JET and GEOS at various points (JET twice) to see if I could do the teaching-English-in-Japan thing, but alas, I didn't make it further than the interview stage. Not sure if I'd like to leave the UK at the moment anyway, following my realisation that I wouldn't be heading to Japan (or anywhere else) any time soon, I set about carving myself a niche here - besides, all my friends are here too! And how would I cope without my loved one?<br /><br />Mister M: Thanks to you too.<br /><br />In reference to what both of you have said, I don't really know what career path I want (Mentor #3 asked me this question, and I reeled off jobs like singer, stand-up, dancer, actor, writer, Justice League secretary, ahem...). I'm meant to be using these days to think long and hard about it, so I'm thinking. Seriously.Innocent Loverboyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16564876728079783376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-486836004893344372.post-87292955099475058882010-09-29T20:40:23.043+01:002010-09-29T20:40:23.043+01:00Sorry to hear things have turned a bit brown and s...Sorry to hear things have turned a bit brown and smelly for you ILB but I'm sure it'll work out for the best in the end. <br /><br />There's lots of sound advice here and I'd echo what the lovely Tania has said - take time to think about what you really want to do and go for it. TD will come 'round (won't you TD?)Mister Mnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-486836004893344372.post-30095216896010971862010-09-29T19:44:00.402+01:002010-09-29T19:44:00.402+01:00So sorry things are rubbish at the moment. You nev...So sorry things are rubbish at the moment. You never know what you may fall into career wise that could be just right for you - at least now your options are open, and you're not trapped in a job path that's wrong for you. Lots of people have a very varied path to career satisfaction, there is no easy route for most of us.<br /><br />re the TD situation - if it's relevant, before I was settled and happy in my career, I got very jumpy indeed when boyfriends didn't seem to have all their career moves mapped out. Projection or something probably... <br /><br />Please take time to do things that are for YOU alone, and in the unlikely event that things don't work out with TD, it's very much her loss. If all else fails, teaching English overseas is a good one for getting a change of scene and throwing yourself into something absorbing and rewarding?misspiggynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-486836004893344372.post-11768426250372520672010-09-29T19:35:05.960+01:002010-09-29T19:35:05.960+01:00Thanks for the support, Richard. It really sucks t...Thanks for the support, Richard. It really sucks that that happened to you, especially since you effectively did the work that he stole - and on a Ph.D., as well. As a person who's done both a BA (Hons) and DipHE so far, I can guess how awful that might be at said levels - but for a Ph.D., that's scandalous.<br /><br />Since I don't particularly want to do the profession, I probably won't go for the same course at another university. This is the third university I've been to so far and I'm hardly going for a record.<br /><br />Tania: I'm hoping things will calm down with TD and we'll have some sort of reconciliation. These things often do that after a while. I'm not going to antagonise her any further by contacting her before her set date. But, as you can tell, I'm more upset about this than I am about failing the course!<br /><br />To both, the main problem is what I do for a job now. I had a part-time job planned, but that was hinged on being available in Oxford and, particularly, to TD's lovely mother, who was the job link, as it were. Now, evidently, that's not really an option., So couple the fact that I've no idea what I want to do with the fact that the jobs market, especially in places like London, is as it is at the moment, and we have a <i>dilemma</i>...Innocent Loverboyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16564876728079783376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-486836004893344372.post-24588129160029740312010-09-29T18:36:41.757+01:002010-09-29T18:36:41.757+01:00be advised that your mentors or ph.d. advisers can...be advised that your mentors or ph.d. advisers can and do often fail you as the one seeking, needing, wanting, desiring guidance and, well, mentoring. <br /><br />someone failed bigger than fuck if they did not tell you until the final end that you lacked certain qualifications. where the hell were they when they first realized this deficiency? why was not their first move one of bringing you in and beginning to sharpen your skill sets? how do they shave in the morning, looking at themselves in the mirror, knowing that they have not only failed their sacred duties, but have nearly destroyed a human being?<br /><br />i went to ph.d. school in a science. my major adviser waited until i had collected my data, and then filed a National Science Foundation grant proposal claiming that his research group of scientists from europe had done all of the work i did. my name as the originator of the study, as the collector of data, as the statistician, my name never appeared in his 30-page document.<br /><br />long story short, the university threatened to sue me for theft of university property if i refused to turn my data over to him. i had no choice...<br /><br /><br />several years later i started another ph.d. program at another university. with an honest faculty behind me i did quite well.<br /><br />i am so sorry this has happened to you. it has little to do with you not really wanting to work in that profession...richard cephalonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-486836004893344372.post-87370856235561495902010-09-29T15:43:17.285+01:002010-09-29T15:43:17.285+01:00I'm sure things will work out with TD. I guess...I'm sure things will work out with TD. I guess if you didn't really want the job, now's your chance to find something you really do want to do? Not really sure what to say here, so *hug* :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com