Sunday, 6 January 2019

Soft Porn Sunday: Kim Yates & Nicholas Franklin Bray

Just to prove I do eventually post everything I originally intend to, I've finally taken the plunge and reviewed the other sex scene featuring Kim Yates and Nicholas Franklin Bray (credited here as Nicholas Yff, which is probably impossible to pronounce - unless you're going to go with "yiff", which conjures up a completely different kind of porn...). The first one had the iconic music, but I always considered this one (which I do believe happens earlier in the movie) to be the hotter scene.

Plot's still really stupid, though.

Appearance: Timegate: Tales of the Saddle Tramps (1999)
Characters: Jenifer & Sheriff Bart

I shuddered while typing "Jenifer" without two of the letter N. Seven years since I last reviewed this film and I'm still bitter.

Anyway, Jenifer's "other", "shorter", "hotter" "sex" "scene" takes place inside. On a bed. Yes, I know! Absolutely shocking, unless you haven't read the first review and have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about. Akin to the other one, it also features Nicholas "Yff" Franklin Bray, but as a different character. Here he's playing either Howard or the sheriff, but I'm going with the sheriff for this one, just because it seems more old-timey.

Yes, I know the entire film is set in the Old West. Give me a break.

Let's start with the music. Unlike the other sex scene, this one doesn't rip off anti-war campfire
It's curtains for you, Jenifer.
songs, but then again, the music actually fits the scene better. There's much less disrobing here and it more or less cuts straight to the sex, so you don't need a build-up. A couple of guitar chords to set the pace give way to some rapid, but steady, pretty stings work with woodwind undertones, synthy licks, all underscored by an unintrusive drum beat with extensive use of hi-hat. It gradually increases as the scene goes on, but it remains relatively understated, which is Actually Good Use Of Soft Porn Music, as it doesn't distract you from what's happening on screen.


Anyway, the bonking. As I said, this scene doesn't really have much of a build-up and kind of throws you into the sex, which flips from astride to upright doggie style to missionary in the space of three minutes... mind you, that's three positions in three minutes, so there is a fair amount of each, if there is one particular sex position that tickles your fancy. Personally, I prefer the first third, as Dawson is given more to do, and the sex is pleasantly bouncy. Doggie style, up against the bed post, has its moments, but is a little slower and doesn't really capture the same intensity. The missionary bit at the end is good, though - it's shot well, shows off both actors, and is filmed in close-up, so you're not too distracted by the home d├ęcor which dominates the second part.

Soft porn candle! Hiding in a lantern this time, are we?

I hasten to point out the fact that I have no idea where this is meant to be taking place. Presumably, considering the plot, they are either in Bart's house or the brothel where Jenifer works - and that makes sense, what with the candle-lit lanterns and sepia-toned pictures, not to mention the wooden walls - and the real fireplace (sans fire), although in one shot, there appears to be a TV, so either this was written by someone with a passing knowledge of nineteenth-century America or there's part of the crew set-up briefly in shot! Still, it's a fairly faithful recreation of... wherever this is.

But the thing I remember most about this - at the moment, bearing in mind I've just watched this a
Legs. Just to prove they've got 'em, or something.
few times - is the clever use of costume. Jenifer (who is a prostitute, lest we forget) spends the entire scene wearing a huge feather on her head (which never falls off, and actually provides a focal point for the camera, it seems!), black silk gloves, a headband, and nothing else. It's a nice costume, but there isn't much of it, so it gives Yates a chance to show off her body, which is a nice one. Bray isn't bad-looking, either, and he isn't wearing anything.


However, something which isn't difficult to notice (apart from the flower) is the fact that Jenifer is also wearing a collar. A real one, including something that looks like and may well be a lock. Quick checks into other sex scenes featuring Kim Yates without it, so all hopes of her being a collared sub who refuses to take it off ever for nude scenes are hereby dashed. Zounds!

So - music, check. Nudity, check. Sex, check. Set, check. Costume, check. What else is there?

I shall tell you!

In the last few seconds, Jenifer flashes a huge smile - and that, dear reader, is the thing I remembered
I didn't even know Oral-B made a toothpaste!
the most about this. In fact, it changes the shape of her face so dramatically that it's not instantly recognisable as Yates... but it does humanise the whole thing massively - Jenifer displaying an emotion which isn't often too visible in these scenes (as opposed to the open-mouthed amazement or blank expressionless face which often accompanies the bump'n'grind). A genuine smile can make a massive difference, and here it does.


Thank you, Jenifer! I'm pleased you enjoyed the sex! I'll hold your feather steady while you come down!

All in all, this is a good scene in a typically bad movie. On its own, isolated from its surroundings, it works. And for that, I am pleased to say that I am almost satisfied.

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