What is there to get out of sex blogging?
I love being a sex blogger.
But why? What is it about writing about sex on the internet that makes it such an important part of my life? Why, exactly, is it my favourite thing to do - and why have I kept it up for almost ten years?
It's impossible to summarise. There are so many aspects of blogging that one can write about: a few paragraphs can barely scratch the surface. But because I can - and because I'm a sucker for a good listicle - here are a few of the reasons that I still squirm a little inside whenever I crack open that compose window.
It's no secret that people read blogs. Even there's a certain heady glow when you get an e-mail, or a comment, or even a tweet in response to something you've written; I'm still amazed that people read my words!
However, that's far from the only positive feeling. Writing can be incredibly liberating, and there's a dizzy sense of completion to be had from the instant you press the 'publish' button! It's a labour of love, for sure, and (hopefully) you're blogging because you love to write and you have a voice to be heard. But one of the things I love about writing is that it feels so good.
And I know at least one person who's reading my stuff... me!
Increased sexual awareness
Before I started my blog, I had only a passing knowledge of sexuality. I was aware of my own, but due to the limited sex education I got during school life and a year or so of fairly vanilla sex in the missionary position with my one previous girlfriend, there was lots that I didn't know about, and even more that I didn't know existed!
That, of course, has all changed. Years of writing my own blog, reading countless others, and interaction within the community has made me much more aware of all the changing aspects and opportunities that the world of sexual proclivities has to offer! I may not partake a lot myself, but prior to blogging, I would have been as clueless as EL James if you'd asked me what "BDSM" stands for...
I've always considered blogging to be an art as much as it is an outlet. Not every post you write is going to be stellar, but there's a lot to get out of wordsmithery - and just as much from reading other bloggers' work. Telling stories is, after all, one of the oldest art forms in the world, and what better way to carry on that tradition?
It's worth noting that some of the "big hitters" of the early days got noticed through books they published - something that's still continuing to the present. What better way to show a little love for someone's hard work writing than to read it - whether online... or in a book?
Assuagement of guilt
When I was a teenager, I felt incredibly guilty about my sexual desires. I wasn't even comfortable with the fact that I was having any for a while!
Sex blogging has been a wonderful tonic. Everyone has different sexual tastes, but even if yours are unique, you're able to take a lot of solace in the fact that you're not alone - the community will surround you with others, all of whom have a sex drive, just like you... and they're talking about it! Where's the shame in that?
More sex conversation with your peers
As much as I enjoy talking frankly about sex, it still doesn't happen as much as I'd like, especially with my friends. Nevertheless, I now feel as if I'm unashamed enough to actually broach the subject, rather than dancing about it like a moth around a flame!
I'm now able to start conversations with sentences like, "so my friend, who's a pornographer..." or "hey, you're a hen party? Cool, we're a convention of sex writers." The looks on faces, alone, are priceless.
More sex conversation with others
And let's not forget the people you meet around the sex blogging life. These are the people you teach and those you learn from. In this setting, they're less likely to be overly shy about sexual discourse - and the amount of humour and intelligence these people employ has always astounded me - and it will continue to do so!
I think that, in that sense, that's why sex bloggers love to meet up: so we can talk sex!
A sense of community
I've been a member of many social groups in my time, but there has never been one like the sex blogger community. Like most groups, I'm sure we may not all agree with each other all the time... but there's a camaraderie that comes from working towards the same goal that is continuously being refreshed and resurgent every time someone adds something new. Individually, we may be writers... but together, we are a force!
A superhero identity
Because, with a name you use for a fantastic cause, who doesn't feel like they're in the Justice League?
Out of the people I've had sex with, more than half of them have been sex bloggers themselves. All four girlfriends I've had have been bloggers too, and with them, I've had the best sex of my life!
I'm seriously doubting that I'd have had any romantic encounters, or any sex at all, if I hadn't started my blog. It's made me much more open and available... and laying myself bare on the Internet has let people see "the real me", which is what I've always wanted. Astounded though I am that anyone would ever be attracted to me, but without my blog I doubt any of it would have ever happened!