I'm so overwhelmed
How did my brain conceive them?
...and then we make love, right there on your best friend's couch. Mmmmm, that's a sexy lyric. There's an implicit sexuality in all these songs, that makes them all seem so... wild and free. Uninhibited, guilt-free, liberating sex. It sounds glorious. But, let's face it, it's never going to happen to me.
It's too late for me, anyway. I'm not as young as I used to be. Or as thin. What if I have sex again? What if I have sex tonight? Can I even do it any more, or would I just collapse under my own weight? Would I even be any good? I used to be... but that's in the past now.
Do you know what, I would really like a blowjob.
What is it with suddenly wanting to make everyone orgasm? Even with my incredibly tireless tongue and cheerfully giving philosophy, I'm sure it would eventually lead to incredible soreness on my part. Still, I wouldn't stop until she orgasms, because that's what I do...
I can't believe I didn't clock that it was two Fs, and not a V, for a few years. I'd still be erroneously calling him "Havron" had I not done my research. What an idiot.
Her straddling me, rubbing her vulva up and down against my stomach. That's hot. Possibly. I don't know. Is it sexy? Where the fuck did that idea come from, anyway?
What do the night staff do? There are two of them on. There's a bed in the staff room. Is there some unspoken credo that, every night, you have sex with your co-worker? Is that a thing? Maybe it's a thing. It would be a good way to pass the time, of course, if it is indeed a thing. I'm going to pretend, from now on, that that's a thing.
Do my dreams mean anything? If they do, then what's with all the odd threesomes involving people I know from Twitter? The associated confusion and incredible resulting horniness certainly don't clear anything up. Explain, dickbrain! Explain!
Exactly how frustrated, considering all of the above, must I be?