Thursday, 17 May 2018

Fullscreen +2

While compiling a list last year, I worked on discovering a way to watch streaming softcore directly from the browser window without having the rest of the host site around it. With the sort of glossy smut I usually watch, I have my DVDs and 20 Disks of Wonder™ stuffed full of individual scenes I wasted my time downloading throughout the years - but now there are sites that host this stuff (รก la Pornhub, but less corporately hegemonic); if there is one particular scene I want to see, trawling through my Disks might not be the easiest solution.

It's what the internet is for.

So the other week - at a very inopportune time, too; halfway through work - I was suddenly struck with an urge to watch two specific scenes. Same actress, same film (even the same background music, in fact, that's the sort of thing I notice) - and while they are both on my Disks, exactly where they are remains a perpetual mystery. Nothing to do at work, I skipped out a little early, bussed my way home, and took to my computer...

There remained the problem of finding the scenes - I wasn't going to go down the illegal route of torrenting the entire film (and besides, I was horny, I didn't want to wait!) - but, fortunately, Google delivered the goods. Both scenes available on various video-sharing sites. One of them had even made it onto YouTube - maybe they're more relaxed about boobs now?

So I did my thing. Delved into the page source and pulled out a couple of direct links to the player, scenes up full-screen in browser tabs without ads, popups, or disturbing cartoon porn in the sidebar to distract me.

Softcore, as it were, as nature intended.

The wank, in case you are wondering, was glorious, and satisfying: a slow, protracted session, shaft in hand, foreskin gliding effortlessly back and forth as I mainlined these two scened. Comfortable familiarity. Movement. Camera. Music, Skin. My cock, stiff against my palm, beating out a rhythm in time with the sex on screen. This was something I knew.

Eventually, of course, I came. All over my hand, my stomach, and the floor too. I grabbed a towel to clean up the mess, and then collapsed onto the bed, just for good measure. I didn't even put my trousers back on.

I've had lots of wonderful wanks in my life - this being probably one of the best I can remember - but this one, due to the amount of effort I put into getting the scenes up on screen (sans distractions, adverts, slowdown or lag), will always be noteworthy.

The "technical achievement unlocked" wank, perhaps.

WHAT an achievement.

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