Friday, 22 December 2017

A Dirty Diagram

Ten years of sex blogging and I've never written about this before. I've certainly thought about it, but...

For a long time, in my happier days, I was in a fairly incestuous community. We only met every now and again, but for a group of young people, being members of a larger organisation with generally liberal views and emphasis of freedom of expression (and there was alcohol), every second was a godsend. I got through university living for the occasional weekends, week-long summer soirées and - fairly accurately, when it comes to the time I'm writing this, the precious one filling the pointless void between Christmas and New Year - the only time I managed to get a kiss from my crush. Although I managed it.

The idea came out more than once that a web could be drawn: a diagram of intercrossing lines providing proof that everyone in the community was linked by a fairly continuous trail of saliva, encompassing all 208 registered members (although that was a bit ambitious; even the largest events mostly totalled about 50 attendees), and that such a diagram could be easily drawn up. One of our number threw himself into the task, and was sent about 70+ such kisses from one particular girl who was specifically fond of physical contact; an impressive 38-in-one-day from another, younger and also particularly liberal girl; and my modest two.

I never saw the result, but I hear it was pretty spectacular.

That's not the only community I contributed to, however. I once spent long enough trying to explain all the various trysts in a smaller, more tight-knit community to KW - long enough, in fact, for me to go and get a pencil and paper and draw them all out, adding more and more as I thought of it. In this case, however, I was more central (in fact, I was right in the middle), having kissed a few members (in fact, having consulted my list, by first five chronological kisses were all from that group! Bizarro!), had sex with some, and fancied even more. KW took the list home, and made a graphic for his benefit - he had to use maths to work out where people should go in order to keep all the lines straight.

And then we have the sex blogging community.

This would be an impossible task, I think - not least due to the varying complexities of who the community contains, and what comprises it (what are readers, if not the blood circulation of the body?); add, also, the fact that a lot of us are, if not anonymous, pseudonymous - might you, beautiful reader, have kissed a sex blogger without knowing? - and that there are some kisses that one may wish to keep secret, not know about, or have forgotten.

Apart from the American sex bloggers - who, from what I've heard, are a little more blasé about such disclosure...

But it did get me thinking, and the thinking led to sketching. You can link me to Molly in two hops, and GOTN in five. There are more, too - those who I'd like to have kissed, and many more that I'm sure I've missed. I'm still adding names, and as I dial back through my ten-year mental Rolodex of public and private displays of affection and dirty kisses in the corner of back rooms, the lines become more and more blurred. Do you count me and Rose, even though I've only ever kissed her on the cheek? What about the Seamstress? Or Catherine? They both stopped blogging, but do they count?

And then there are more. There's plenty I've seen from the sidelines, but plenty more I don't know about. I'm not going to message everyone to ask for their past kisses - as my friend in the aforementioned community did - as, well, for the reasons I've laid out above, really. But it's a fascinating task. A very dirty one, for sure, but that's what makes it so interesting. It's the almost getting caught, as Emmanuelle says, that's fun.

And it's this sort of thing that keeps me blogging after a decade. There's always more to explore, and for the curious, more to beguile the discerning reader.

It may be a dirty diagram, that's for sure. But it's certainly a lot of fun to create. Impossible, yes - but fun, intriguing, naughty... and, with prudent admiration for all my fellow bloggers, very, very dirty.

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