I didn't even raise my head. I didn't have the energy, having spent two-thirds of the night lying awake. I'm going to have to tell the doctor that the herbal remedy she recommended can be added to the list of things that doesn't work. My insomnia may have to be cured by someone hitting me over the head with a mallet.
"What's what?" I think I said. It probably sounded more like "whuzwer".
"There's a large collection of porn on this PC, and loads of pictures of naked girls."
My girlfriend has recently inherited my dad's old PC. With the hard drive formatted, my dad gave it to me, and for a while, I didn't use it for anything. Occasionally I watched a DVD or two on it, and I even recorded a couple of songs at points, but mostly it sat inactive in a drawer, just in case I needed a spare PC. When her netbook decided to stop working, I donated it to her. She seems to be enjoying it.
"Okay, you know when I went to do my summer job, and they had that firewall, so I had to find a VPN and it took me weeks to find one that they didn't block?"
"Well, I decided to test it by going onto the deep web and downloading porn."
"You went onto the deep web and downloaded porn?"
"Yeah. I don't even think I've ever watched it," I said, truthfully.
"And who are the girls in the pictures? Some people you've been fucking?"
"I haven't been fucking anyone," I said, just as truthfully.
"So who are the girls?"
"More porn," I admitted.
So, to recap: I got a VPN so I could write my blog. I used it for porn, and more porn.
Were this any other relationship, this may well have had a very different outcome.
I love being a sex blogger.