Sunday, 7 August 2016

Meander

I've had this feeling before: it's late, it's dark, and I want to go wandering.

I can't, though. It's too late. It's really dark, though warm enough to explore, and I'm not as familiar with the bit of London in which I now live as I was with the bit I previously lived in - and was born in, brought up in, etc. - so I'm not even sure if there's anywhere to go. Previous nocturnal explorations from my parents' old house were always long and accompanied by music. I knew my way around; I could get back home from wherever I ended up.

This is different. It's a quiet neighbourhood, but the sound of emergency sirens have reminded me that there is a main road nearby. Not as large, perhaps, as the main road near my parents' old house, but large enough. Large enough to encourage a bit of wanderlust.

Once, while I was at university (first time around), I heard a noise in the distance through my open window, and was seized with a sudden desire to venture out into the night and investigate. I was in the Midlands - this was my final year, so it wasn't unfamiliar to me: just a little alien. At that time, I was on the verge of putting my shoes on and walking out of the house before I mentally checked myself. What was I supposed to be doing, exactly?

I sat back down and wrote a blog post about it. So that's what I'm doing now.

My urge to go wandering could be indicative of anything or nothing (or, paradoxically, both). It could be the need for a summer adventure (I am going on one in less than a week, so that may be it...), the memory of unfamiliar settings (the Midlands city; the familiar streets of my local area; Central London at night with 47 and no way of getting home; Somerset, where I spent last summer and the one before, spending many nights staring out of the window...), a yearning for physical activity, or maybe just aimless walking. I used to go for daily hour-long walks by the river in an attempt to lose weight; while this may not have worked, I got a lot of fresh air...

Some of my friends are at camp. Some are away in other countries. Some are taking the summer one day at a time. I've been at work, day in, day out, with no sign of a break yet.

And I still wish to wander in the dark.

It shall happen.

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