I don't like food play. It's really not my thing, despite once licking whipped cream off a girl's breasts (and once smearing melted chocolate over another's, watching someone else licking it off her... long story, maybe I'll tell it some time). I like food and I usually want to eat it, but I'm very fussy about the way it's used. I want to throw up every time I hear my mother eating fruit, and (as much as I like to experiment), I've never been interested in food play.
It just doesn't appeal.
And yet I've just been reminded of one time where I called someone a peach.
It kind of suited her. Soft, succulent and light, irresistible but wet. I could practically feel her: the size and weight of her breasts in my hand, the feel of her cheek against my lips, and how wet she would be as my mouth caressed her, her juices dripping down my shirt and making a mess in exchange for pleasure.
You know, like a peach.
And then there was the time someone described herself to me as a "horny little cookie".
That suited her too, even discounting the "horny" part (she was). She was even little (as in - short), and she had the irresistible sugary sweet nature of a cookie. Chocolate chips of slightly dark humour mixed into a respectable biscuit base. Soft on the outside, viscous on the inside, and hard to resist once you'd had your first bite.
And there's the way I compare a horny thought to rolling a toffee around in your mouth, toying with the idea, waiting for it to pop. How the fizz and tang of a sherbet lemon resemble the sexual anticipation that builds in my stomach as I get closer and closer to climax. And the discussions I've had as to whether or not male ejaculate tastes like salty milk, or whether the vagina is more like a lemon than a lime. How the skin tastes as I drag my tongue down her back or lick behind her ear. How tongues, in a kiss, melt together like ice cream, or how the first hug with a loved one is like the first bite into a hot toastie... you know there will be more, but the first is always the best.
There's all of that and yet I still don't like food play.
But it's no wonder I'm overweight. I mean, some people look at their sex life and it's exciting, dynamic and racy. I look at mine and see a menu.