Monday, 6 June 2016

Sunshine, Lollipops and Rainbows (of kink)...

I didn't really want to go to work this morning, but the sun smiling down upon London made waiting for the bus more bearable (after I'd found a tree to shade under, anyway); with the promise of exciting things later like "shopping" and "cuddles" and the cheeky memory of having brought my girlfriend to orgasm last night with my fingers and the fact that I got paid this morning left me feeling quite chipper.

If you forget about the EU referendum. I've spent years talking about how a Brexit is completely unworkable and counter-intuitive to a more peaceful world and some people are still going to vote for it. So let's not talk about that.

My faith in humankind was restored, to a point, when Pandora Blake tweeted a link to show that her outlawed BD/SM website, Dreams of Spanking, is... well... no longer outlawed. (Here's a post on her blog which explains why; although, if you're reading this, you probably already know it all. Come back in a year and this'll be a valuable history lesson.) While spanking isn't really my thing, and there's still a multitude of problems with the ATVOD Ofcom regulations, this is still a significant victory for free speech. And porn. It certainly made my day.

How to explain to my clients why I was smiling so broadly was a little more difficult.

"Well, I've got a friend who runs a... well, she runs a... business, and the British government decided to shut it down."
"Why did they do that?"
"Well, it's very complicated, but anyway, I just got the news, er, she tweeted about it..."

[Nobody here asked what the word "tweeted" meant.]
"...and that's not the case any more, so she can start her... business... back up. We're all very pleased about it."
"Oh! Tell her that's great news for local businesses!"
"Er, yeah, I will, thanks."

I was hard-pressed not to mention the fact that I've been stood behind a camera watching said local business owner thwacking my girlfriend's behind with a cane. Or that she recently made a film in a hotel room featuring two fellow bloggers planned on the spur of the moment. Or, indeed, that I stayed up to watch her talking about porn on Newsnight. I'd cheerily admit to any of these things, but not to my clients, and certainly not within earshot of my boss, who votes Tory and doesn't know what "LGBTQIA+" stands for (but is still voting Remain on the 23rd, to my relief).

It was later on, while browsing Twitter and pretending to work, that I noticed Laura Jenkins of Candy Girl Pass has also won an appeal against Ofcom, and let out a little laugh.

All my clients looked at me at the same time.

"...another business just got re-opened?" I ventured. 

At this point, I felt less like continuing to work and more like going out into the park next door, walking a few miles in a circle to burn off ALL THE FEELINGS, and possibly sing Don't Stop Believin' while using the exercise bike they installed before the Olympics. Or just go home, do the shopping, have a cup of tea and then finger my girlfriend to orgasm again. Anything, basically, before I managed to mention that I'd just spent the better part of two hours thinking about how much I support the production and distribution of pornography.

"Okay... onwards," I eventually head myself saying, as I fired up my USB stick to find the data I needed. Which, of course, I found... once I'd scrolled past all the porn first.

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