Saturday, 9 January 2016


Long-term readers of my blog (if I have any) may remember that I was relatively excited about getting a new mattress for my 24th birthday (yes, I am that cool), to replace the BEAST I used to have on my old bed. It's since changed hands a few times, having been on top of a few beds of varying size and quality, most recently having been used (albeit temporarily) by my little sister, sleeping as she did - until today - in the room I was in myself for just over a year and a half.

Since then, we've been sleeping - and resting and reading and eating and shagging - on a mattress roughly the size and weight of a ton of particularly sharp bricks. Needless to say, it hasn't been very fun - discomfort exacerbated somewhat by the fat that our landlord provided, in lieu of an actual bed, a divan upon which he placed this hideous mess.

It's been like trying to get to sleep on Bowser's back.

My sister moved out of SH today in order to stay with her new(ish) boyfriend somewhere south of the river, freeing up the mattress, and my parents - intending to turn that room back into a lounge/office effort like it was originally supposed to be - decided, in their infinite wisdom, to offer it back to me so as to effect getting any sleep whatsoever. It shouldn't be difficult, my dad reasoned. They were hiring a van to take all my sister's stuff; it would effortlessly fit in there, and it'd be really easy to carry it into our room from the street...

A couple of trips back and forth, driving up and down in two cars and a great deal of huffing, puffing, groaning and swearing because I walked backwards into a bush, and all four of us managed to get the thing through the front door approximately half an hour after we started.

Trailing mud through the hall and sweeping out the hideous mess of dust and hair that appears to have collected underneath the divan also ended up with the mattress in pride of place, fitted sheet embracing it with only the one or two wrinkles, duvet resting upon it in even some semblance of order. Even as I type, I have a very contented girlfriend in a state dangerously close to relaxation, reclining on her side with neither a droop, nor a creak, or even the muttered oaths and curses that used to accompany bed-related movement.

Praise the Lord, for he hath delivered us at last!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I have some important catching-up to do...



Lea said...

I know this feeling well. We were sleeping on a craptastic full size bed. When we finally got the Queen size pillow top... good LORD, I'm in love with this thing.

Enjoy the rest, and everything else!

Innocent Loverboy said...

I most certainly did enjoy the rest... neither of us properly woke up until after 11 this morning, and the bed practically screamed at us not to leave!