Thursday, 31 December 2015

2015: Year End Review

I think it's fair to say that I've been really horny this year. I haven't had as much sex, or even masturbated as much, as in previous years; nevertheless, I have been - for most of the year at least - very easily aroused, with various results, varying from gleeful to frustrated to my default setting of awkward.

To look back at the year in sexual terms is a completely different task from the usual thing I do in my "other, boring" life, where it's all about jobs and living situations, although the two do collide; the dream I just woke up from involved living in a caravan while complaining about something erotica writers do. So, y'know, there's that.

Here's a restrospective, which is basically a wall of text with too many links. There are a lost of posts, basically, and I didn't want to miss anything out. If you are an insomniac, like me, this is your cure. For context: 2014 ended with me living in my parents' house in North London, with my girlfriend (Jillian Boyd), both parents, and a cat named Willow. 

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I spent some of the first week in January on my own, with nothing to do but eat, sleep and wank (which may explain the rest of the year, one supposes), setting me up for being horny pretty much all the way through February. February was, as it turns out, a pretty good month for me, what with my getting back into writing fiction, random condom comparison, and refusing to believe the supposed Blogger ban on adult content (which was, of course, never actually put into practice).

Three weddings happened this year; the first was in March, just after my 30th birthday, for which I ran a competition. March also included the news of several pregnancies in my circle (four, actually) - the babies have all just been born - and I entered the spring on a bit of a high, with some new friends, a new job and an election around the corner (I am stupidly excited about politics) for which I rang doorbells. At the end of April I found out that my boss was a homophobe, but I stayed in the job for a while, taking a college course at the same time.

A real turning point happened at the end of May, with the second of three weddings, only this time it was my bestest friend who got the marrified, and it was a fantastic wedding and a good week overall, really. It also happened in Wales, where I haven't been for a Very Long Time, so that's something too. I also gave my first ever Best Man's speech, which was fun. The third wedding was in June, and it happened just after I finally managed to fulfil my lifelong fantasy of having sex in a tent in the rain, which wasn't as good as it could have been (I need a bigger tent).

Summer came in and the air tasted of electricity. I spent most of July in Somerset, working incredibly hard and almost burning out, and the occasional days of total isolation (Saturdays...?) were an odd mix of relative comfort and anxious boredom. I didn't have much time to blog (well, not much, anyway), but I think that, subconsciously, I was kind of warming up for Eroticon 2015, which happened less than a week after I returned to London - so back West I went!

Eroticon was a little difficult for me this year, and I think in many ways that's my fault. I spent the first day-and-a-bit feeling a little inadequate by comparison, and almost like a spare part - compare the previous three Eroticons, at each of which I felt perfectly harmonious and special. It wasn't until I made it to the cocktail party on Saturday night and actually managed to lose some of my inhibitions (and talked to GOTN about it, I believe) that I actually started to feel more comfortable. Sunday was much better, and I spent the day afterwards in Bristol, rather than going back to work on the Monday morning and crying hysterically in McDonald's because I miss everyone, like I did in 2014.

Looking back on all this now, I had spent all of July being adored to the point of idolatry by a large number of young people. Tired though I was, I showboated to the maximum (in front of hundreds) getting rounds of applause, high fives and gales of laughter. The beginning of August found me being one of many, and I think that was a massive culture shock, having been on my own under the spotlight for so long beforehand. Add this to the insecurity of losing the other two Musketeers to the ether, and maybe it's not so much of a surprise that I felt nervous at Eroticon?

Half way through the year (and a family holiday best glossed over) and I found myself, once again, with raging horn; at around this time, I moved out of my parents' house and into a room in a share house, which was fine for a while until I lost my job and was thrust once again into uncertainty. I spent most of September being quite reflective, and in October I had my three-year-anniversary with Jillian, which involved orgasms.

in October I also wrote my favourite post of the year. It may be an odd choice, but I do think it reads quite nicely...

As for the final two months: with everything having been up in the air for so long, I felt a rather pronounced, dull sense of certainty throughout them. I knew I'd be going to Sexpo and that it would be exactly what I thought of it. I knew I'd be horny, I knew where I'd be for Christmas, and I still know where I'll be for New Year.

What I don't know is what's going to happen in 2016. I actually have very few plans for next year, and I'm not going to make any claims. Positive things at New Year always sound a little jingoistic and insincere to me, and negative things may not happen, so I won't make any hypotheses.

Besides, I don't want to look to the future. I've just spent 982 words on looking back on the past, and I certainly do seem to be quite adept at that...

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