Thursday, 5 November 2015

Let 'er rip!

Things were getting hotter and heavier than usual - were I the instigator, then I would have been surprised at how successful I'd been. As it happens, I'd only gone over for a cuddle and maybe some gentle kisses. I wasn't expecting a full-on snogging session with a pulsing erection and a girlfriend seizing the moment without any prior warning. I reasoned quite quickly that I could work with this, and sure enough, ten minutes later I was gasping for breath, burying my face in her shoulder as I came deep inside her.

No problems there.

The scary bit came a little earlier when I suddenly realised that I was a little overdressed to have sex and needed to remove some clothing. In my haste, I began to pull my trousers down, forgetting to undo the top button...

A horrible ripping sound rent the air. A more rational man may have had a sudden "oh, my! my best pair of trousers!" thought rush through his head. A more conservative man may have remembered to carefully fold his trousers onto a chair before engaging in coitus. Someone who's read this blog before may have recalled that I have a history of this sort of thing. My thoughts, however, were somewhere in the territory of "oh thank you sweet baby santa christ i'm just about to have SEX!!!", and the loss of yet another pair of trousers wasn't really on my mind as I eased my erection carefully into the warm folds of her sex.

I kept my jumper on throughout, though.

What? It's autumn now! It's cold!

The notion of putting my trousers back on came up later as it was a steadily dawning concept that it may not be the best of ideas to walk into the communal cooking area with my UNUSUALLY LARGE PENIS flapping in the breeze. Pulling them back on seemed relatively easy, and I noticed with appreciation that there was not, as I had assumed, a rip; I could even wear these to work and I doubt anyone would notice that these had been abandoned onto our dusty floor in the heat of unbridled passion.

The second I straightened up, there was a ping!, the button fell off the thread, and the trousers fell down.

And that's how I learned to love belts.

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