Sunday, 25 October 2015

Soft Porn Sunday: Monica Mayhem & Todd Tetreault vs. Mia Hope & Chriss Anglin

#LIPPIE!
Over the last week, my sex drive has come in peaks and troughs, from cold fish to raging volcano. In my sleepier, hornier moments, I don't seem to be able to shake one particular scene from my mind - one that I was absolutely sure would get me off.

I've now watched it and it hasn't. Whether or not that's something to do with me I'm not sure; the scene's certainly good enough. It would probably go so far as to make me laugh, were it not for the fact that I have man flu and laughing hurts.

In any case, this is really meta and could only be beaten by a scene featuring somebody watching themself having sex with themself (which I think actually does happen later on in this bonkers series. My inner geek is almost satisfied.)

Appearance: Emmanuelle Through Time: Emmanuelle's Skin City (2012)
Characters: Two Men & Two Women

While I have expounded upon this series in great detail over the past few years, I've only really focused on the main characters in my scene reviews, and haven't particularly donw one featuring any side characters. I don't even think I've ever featured a scene at all featuring an unnamed character ("Leggy Blonde" doesn't count), so here's one that features four.

This entire sequence happens while Emmanuelle is wandering lost and confused through the alternate
I suppose that I'd smirk too if it were me.
Las Vegas in a universe where she is both ubiquitous and mega-famous (later retconned into one reality in an infinite multiverse, each of which containing a different version of Emmanuelle, thus explaining why she has more faces than Doctor Who). In keeping with the "lulz, fame is weird" trope they have going here, among the things Emmanuelle (Brittany Joy) encounters are strange Underground-like video adverts for products she can't remember inventing - for example, Emmanuelle's Luscious Lipstick - "now every woman can kiss like Emmanuelle!" / "wait until you kiss him somewhere else!": cue soft porn blowjob!


In any case, eventually she chances across adverts for "Sense - the new fragrance by Emmanuelle", and later, "Emmanuelle's Beauty - a new cologne for men", both of which follow the same pattern: application, flirtation, sex.

The advert for Sense features a woman (Monica Mayhem) searching for something to wear before a hot date, but unable to find anything - a bit like looking for clothes in my flat, really. Instead, she opts to wear nothing except a spritz of Sense, and then answers the door naked. Her date (Todd Tetris...
Bum.
er, sorry, Tetreault) clearly appreciates this gesture, because we then jump cut to them having incredibly enthusiastic sex on a handy bed, over an accompaniment of those electric guitar stabs soft porn uses to imply good love-makin' action. It's a fun little scene, with some attractive enough people and some fairly explicit sex considering what this is, and I do like the brave attempt at commercial-lampooning humour.


Beauty has another, similar advert which comes immediately
This looks like Krista Allen... but it isn't her! Really!
afterwards; rather than turning up naked, the man in this one (Chriss Anglin - you know, with an extra "S" because it's edgy!) is dressed up quite nicely for a dinner date, sprays some of the cologne on himself and sits down at a table for his slavegirl girlfriend to serve him food. Evidently, they don't really get around to eating much of it, because after taking a whiff of Beauty, she (Mia Hope) rubs herself for a few seconds, before jumping up, grabbing him by the lapels and having sex with him on the kitchen table.


Promo pic for Wii Fit's new workout option.
It's also fun, but mostly because I really like the flamenco-style guitar music accompanying the dinner bits and how well it's replaced by bouncy MIDI-style jingles when the tabletop roleplay happens.

After a bit of bonking from various angles, this scene intercuts with the sex from the previous advert, and jumps back and forth for a while. It isn't needed, but all this chopping and changing does make for a decent sex scene, even if it technically isn't one - since we get two couples in different locations having sex. You know... if you're into that sort of thing.

The entire thing ends with a title card for both scent products with the sex continuing on in the background.

[promotional affiliate link goes here] #spon

Looking at it with a more critical eye, I can sort of see why this isn't bringing me to orgasm: it's not as sexy as it could be, and is clearly played for humour (there are other scenes here too, longer ones more designed for that purpose), but it certainly makes me laugh and makes me hard at the same time. Throughout both ads, we get a few confused glances from Emmanuelle herself as she watches, hovering somewhere between disbelief and amusement (as are the audience, I assume), which serves to remind us of what's actually going on here, and that certainly adds something extra to the proceedings.

So, overall, the commercial spirit of this one wins me over. Perhaps it isn't the sexbomb my memory made it out to be... but it certainly works... you know, whatever it's meant to be for!

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