...sorry, I'll try that again.
It's less than a we +)&(&*+*^
...one last time.
It's less tha !%"!^"¬!¬
I do apologise. I'm just suddenly incredibly surprised that it's less than a week until Eroticon 2015 (phew, managed it without cracking up into excitement!) and that I should really be less surprised, seeing as how I've been counting down to this ever since it was announced. Although the fact that I'm falling to pieces at the moment, as my throat is committing seppuku and my head is currenly eating itself from the inside out, may be something to do with it.
Rest assured that inside I am a raging volcano of emotion. You just can't see it under the exterior that's currently rocking a "dead to the world" look.
Anyway, let's do the annual Meet & Greet, so you know which idiot to avoid if you're also going to 'con this year. And it's adapted from the rather awesome one written earlier by Molly. Go read that too.
Name (and Twitter name if you have one)
Innocent Loverboy - or "ILB" if you're lazy or have limited space to write that.
I'm on Twitter as @innocentlb, because every other sobriquet was either taken or too long for Twitter's 15-character limit to accept (accordingly, I'm on Spring.me as the same, and my e-mail address also has "innocentlb" in it).
Is this your first time at Eroticon? If No, what is your favourite memory from a previous Eroticon and if No, what are you most looking forward to at Eroticon 2015?
This is my fourth time, after attending Eroticons 2012, 2013 and 2014 - the only one I didn't sttend being Eroticon USA in '13. I'm incredibly pleased it's still happening in the UK this year as I doubt I'd ever make it to America!
So I guess that's a "no", allowing me to talk about what I'm looking forward to the most. I'm with Molly here - the sessions are usually great and the venue is fantastic (and the sex is good), but the best thing about the whole shebang is the people that you get to meet and hang out with - if you're an avid reader then you pretty much know them already, n'est-ce pas?
I'm also looking forward to the inevitable orgy. It's basically going to happen this year, and knowing my luck, it's probably going to end up being in my room, as that'll be the tidiest.
Which 3 sessions have you already earmarked as definitely going to?
This is an easier choice for me this year as there are a few sessions I don't want (or need) to go to (and a few that I do), so my current plan is: GOTN's session; critique session; crafting creativity; sex and censorship; creative drop-in; traffic tips; A Game of Boners.
But I also like the sound of voice-over drop-in as I rather enjoy reading my own blog posts out loud! So this may all be subject to change! (Hmmm, not that easy after all...)
What drink will you be ordering at the bar on the Saturday night?
My usual staple is a Friar Tuck (Coke with Blackcurrant), although I wouldn't be averse to a nice cool lemonade at points.
If you wrote an autobiography what would it be called?
Finishing Last. I'm aware that I've already written a book called that, but it's still a good title - and says it all, really!
Where are you writing this post and what 5 things can you see around you (not including the device you are writing on)?
Good question! I'm writing this post from the room I'm (temporarily) staying in in Somerset, where I've been working for the past month (I am vacating this room, and the wilds, tomorrow, back to London where I can switch back from steam-powered netbooks to electricity) - which also explains the lack of blog posts in the past few weeks. Ironically, I'm much closer to Bristol now than I will be when I get home, so it's a sort of "there-and-back-again" deal...
Right to left, I can see: a stack of papers; a packet of drinking fudge that I haven't yet mixed into a drink (but plan to); an opened packet of sugarfree gum, two segments of which I am chewing; a duvet wrapped up into a ball, and a bright yellow sheet of paper bearing the legend "It's meant to be foggy all day tomorrow in the north-east!"
And the last one… If you could go out to dinner with any 5 sex bloggers or erotic writers, regardless of whether they are coming to Eroticon or not, who would they be?
OK, a lot of people are going to say that this is a difficult choice (which it is), so I'm going to do two choices:
(i) ILB, plus Blacksilk, Lady Pandorah, Jillian Boyd, Rose Monrou and Emma Whispers - the gang, basically (including all three Musketeers), although I don't even know if most of them are going to be at Eroticon this year! Sadly, I suspect not.
(ii) ILB, plus Jillian Boyd, Charlie Powell, Girl on the Net, Horny Geek Girl and Charlie J Forrest - this one's more realistic and is a wonderfully diverse cross-section of the circles I travel in!
Honorary mentions go to Bunny White and Dorian Silver (although I know from personal experience they are better to share a meal with than a drink), SJ (aka Twist), Exhibit A, Naked Cyclist (from Love and Lust...) and Hannah Mimieux. Hey, this genuinely is really hard.
Any table I'd start would probably accommodate DomSigns too, for the lulz.