Monday, 30 March 2015


"Do you think Lovely is pregnant?"
"No! Of course not! I mean, they've been married for less than a year, wouldn't you think...?"
"But why would Robinson want to see everyone?"
"Just because! He hasn't seen all his friends for ages, he said so!"

It's my birthday party in a week, but I brushed that one aside.

We sat in the pub and I fended off calls from both my parents about exactly the same topic. I am housesitting at the moment, not that it stops business from proceeding as usual, and this includes my dad checking to see that I'm still alive. I helped him felt a shed roof this morning, which gives you an accurate idea of the dynamic sort of life my family leads. With a grunt, I sat down next to Robinson.

I always sit next to Robinson. I have done ever since we were three.

"So, yes," said Mane Jr., handing around his 'phone. "This is what my new place looks like."
It was a caravan. Quite a nice one, though. My friend-who-is-a-teacher always said she imagined it being surrounded by uniform grey concrete, rather than the grassy fields displayed thereon. Looked good, anyway. The way I'm going, I'll be lucky to get as much as a cardboard box.

"Which reminds me," said Robinson, with something close to relish, although he'll never do that because he's never excited about anything, ever. "On Thursday, we saw this."

And he pulled out his 'phone and displayed something which looked like an ultrasound scan...



"Well," I said, raising a glass, "here's to Zayn Malik."


Anonymous said...

Ooo exciting! Uncle ILB. I saw Jilly's tweet earlier; who else in your circle is expecting?

Innocent Loverboy said...

My friend-who-is-a-nurse, my cousin, and my cousin's cousin. And they're all due in the same month too!