I do love a good wedding. Indeed I do. But the best weddings, in my humble opinion, are those where there isn't a lot of confused milling about for us poor plebs who get to be mere guests. Some of the weddings I've been to, even those where everyone is involved in some capacity, do have strange floaty periods in which I'm not sure anyone knows what's meant to be happening.
Not so this weekend.
It certainly doesn't sound fun when written out on paper (or, indeed, in a blog). A wedding where the vicar sings complately atonally and doesn't switch her radio mike off, gets the bride's name wrong and stage whispers her instructions for the whole congregation to hear. Hymns which cause the the groom to shake with suppressed laughter at the suggestive bondage references, and all of which poach classical music for the tunes. Incidental music which is, frankly, terrifying.
Doesn't sound good. But it is.
It also doesn't sound feasible that I'd enjoy a reception with a limited range of vegetarian food, drinks for which one has to pay, a DJ with only a very restricted idea of what the guests would enjoy, a slightly sick feeling in the stomach from eating too much (although that one's entirely my fault), a wisecracking DomSigns on super mega ultra hyper nonstop talking mode, and two guests not turning up for the wedding breakfast because they were too busy having sex.
But I did. I loved it.
And I loved our hotel room and I loved the other guests and I loved the best man. And I loved the sex that I had later that night and the hotel breakfast which I made love to all over the table and the journey back, during which I was practically unconscious on the coach.
But most of all, I loved the wide smile on the face of the groom and the sassy humour of the bride, and the way they held hands and kissed and danced together.
Yeah, okay, so, maybe it doesn't sound too unique, when you consider the fact that I've been to a wedding with music hall cabaret and a ceilidh. But it doesn't need to be unusual to be special. And, when all is said and done, it was - without any doubt - absolutely the cutest, most adorable wedding I've ever had the pleasure to attend.
And that is what'll stay with me.