Sunday, 8 March 2015

Girl

Dear sixth form girl with long blonde hair and large boobs,

I am very sorry about what I said in my LiveJournal. I don't even know how you came to read it, but I am assuming that nearly everyone in the sixth form read my LiveJournal. To be fair, you nearly ran me over once, driving out of the pub car park with a cigarette in one hand and a pint of beer in the other. I saw you, but I don't think you saw me. Mind you, what everyone interpreted about what I wrote in my LiveJournal was incorrect.


But if it caused you pain, distress, or embarrassment, I do apologise. That wasn't my intention, and I shouldn't have named you. Then again, I was 17.


You should know here and now that I have absolutely nothing against you. I don't know much about you, other than your name and the fact that you are in most of my classes. I assume that you are reasonably intelligent and you certainly do appear to be a very loyal friend, on account of the fact that if any of your friends are away from class for whatever reason, you also fail to appear. For all I've seen, you are an average 17-year-old girl, and for that reason, I probably shouldn't have written about you at all. But I was pissed off, and I wrote.

I have no problem with you at all, as I said; it's what other people said about you that I have a problem with. You would walk past in the corridor and boys talked in an undertone about the things they would do to you. I find that offensive and I'm sure you would too. I frowned and humphed a bit, but I never said any of that stuff. I didn't find you particularly attractive and the things other boys said was frankly disturbing. I have a problem with that, and I'm thankful that that isn't the sort of thing I put in my LiveJournal; it's incredibly offensive and it wasn't my opinion anyway.

The teachers worshipped you as if you were some sort of goddess. They gave out photocopies of your essays as an example for the rest of us as to what to do. I think their praise of you was contradictory - careful cross-examination of what you did in your essays and what the teachers told us to do tended to bring up some clashes in terms of interest - and, although your essays were good, I didn't like the writing style. It's not my place to judge, so I didn't say anything, but I felt that the teachers were being unfair on this occasion - and on the next occasion, where they did exactly the same thing.

The abusive comments I got on my LiveJournal post suggested that I was jealous of your popularity and good looks. That I wanted the attention that you were getting and I was just being a bit of a bitch. This wasn't my intention - I was 17, as you know, and I was hearing sexist things said about you by people I considered my friends, and near enough being told I should be you by people who were supposed to be educating me.

That's what I had an issue with.

I didn't mean to insult you and I don't think I actually did. Maybe I overreacted a bit - but then again, maybe you did too, and maybe the boys who whispered about you and the teachers who lauded you and the people who left the abusive comments overreacted too. Maybe everyone was at fault and if I'd never heard any of that stuff I never would have said anything.

I just think you should know.

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