I dream a lot. When I'm not dreaming, it's because I'm not asleep. Or maybe I'm daydreaming, or fantasising, which kind of counts. In fact, if you take into account all the conversations I have with people who aren't there and construct intricate situations in my head, then you might say that my whole life is a bit like a dream and...
Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I don't sleep a lot, and when I do sleep, my dreams are quite vivid. If you've read my dream-related blog posts you'll have some idea of what I mean. This last week has been a tiring bitch, what with various contributing factors and all, and so I've been hovering at times in an almost constant state of near-sleep with protracted periods of lying on my back with my eyes closed while still remaining conscious.
Sometimes, the sudden rush of lust.
I haven't had sex for a while either. It's not a long period, but it seems long when lying in a double bed with a warm girlfriend next to you and the winter cold pressing the windows outside, practically begging you to slide your penis inside somebody. Me being me and my girlfriend being unwell, I am administering cuddles and verbal reassurances. And NSAIDs. Just not cock.
I fell asleep at some point in the small hours last night, waking up at about 6 because I needed to use the toilet. I brazenly did my trademark naked stumble to the bathroom and returned to bed with the full intention of sleeping again, if only for a couple of hours (NB: it turned out not to be that long at all, really, as I'd forgotten to turn the alarm on my BlackBerry off and the bloody thing woke us up at 7:30am!). I lay down, closed my eyes, settled my head on the pillow and...
A confused, jumbled mess of naked bodies nudged at me from just below the waistline. Some girls, some boys, some of non-specific gender and some completely undefined with fantabulosa riah. I twitched; words whizzed around my mind forming a salad of jumbled phrases. "I want you inside me," one whispered. "Oh God, I want you..." said another. "Have sex," one suggested, "that will help." "You have a gorgeous cock." "I love how warm it is." "So strong, so strong!" "More! More! You're the best! You're the best I've ever had!"
You get the idea.
I rolled over and shifted myself towards my sleeping, infirm girlfriend. At one point, the tip of my erect penis brushed against her skin, sending a jolt of electricity through my body right into my brain, which was currently both fighting the urge to sleep and marvelling at exactly how moments of lucid lust can intrude on a state of semi-unconsciousness. That, and shouting random sexual phrases into the void.
Eventually, the loss of blood flow to my brain and the pulsing heat from my body took over, and I slipped back into sleep - a bit of a mess, granted, but less so than I'd have been had I stayed awake much longer. By the time I actually felt ready to get out of bed this morning, I'd returned to my normal, slightly strained, monumentally confused self.
But it's nice to know that I've still got it.