Saturday, 22 November 2014

Miracle-Gro

I've been receiving a spate of e-mails recently which are mostly serving to prove my theory that I appear to be on some sort of list. Most of them - despite the fact that I don't do commercial posts or affiliate links, as should be evident from my sidebar - are just kind requests that I respectfully turn down, but some of them are really quite aggressive, of the "have you featured it yet?" type... and then there are the e-mails that only fit into the category known as "bizarro".

Like this one.

We're from Penis Advantage website [link removed - ILB]. We've got a great program that you'll surely find very interesting. It's about a genuine way to enlarge every guy's penis at home - using just their hands! We are going to show you the ONLY way that will GUARANTEE every guy the extra inches they have always wanted.

Which all seems well and good - in a sense, once you get past the fact that (like every other penis enlargement product purported on the Internet) it seems a little hokey and isn't likely to work at all. But what made me laugh was this little gem:

It's about a genuine way to enlarge every guy's penis at home - using just their hands!

I don't know about you, but when I use my hands on my penis, I can already manage to enlarge it pretty effectively in quite a short time period. In fact, I can do that with my brain too - am I MAGICAL?!

The website is pretty good, too - promising, amongst other things, the ability to eliminate the curve in an erection (which they refer to as Bananaman - I suppose that kind of works, if your name is Eric). Not only am I not sure if that's possible, why would you want to?

I love my erection. My penis has a slight curvature to it, which not only makes it firm and good to handle, but also allows for deep penetration, G-spot stimulation and something on which to hang one's towel (seriously, I can do this; I've been doing it since the age of about 14). Call me a traditionalist if you will, but I'm not sure sticking a ruler into a vagina is really that sexy (unless, of course, you're into that sort of thing. YKINMK, innit).

So I don't think I'll be picking this one up, do you? After all, when we're talking about penis growth, there are so many other things that I'd rather be up.

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