Sunday, 12 October 2014

Soft Porn Sunday: Susan Hale & Tre Temptor

Neon lights, glass table - hey, it must be a strip club!
My Discs of Wonder may have stopped working, which is A Terrible Thing.

Actually, it's not so terrible. What probably happened is that my external DVD drive has stopped working, or is intermittently doing so - however, my Discs of Wonder are all CD-Rs (or CD-RWs in some cases) with a collection of softcore scenes on each one, and maybe my DVD drive doesn't like playing those. It's a particularly dodgy drive anyway, being as it is the same brand as the previous one I broke, and although it seems to handle commercial DVDs fine, it needs a few goes to play a DVD-R.

That and my Discs of Wonder are all old, scratched and dodgy as they are anyway. I'll get a new drive at some point - just not today. Which is frustrating, to a point, because the scene I wanted to feature is on one of my Discs of Wonder. However, after a bit of searching and password retrieval, I appear to have quite a lot of unrestricted access to one of the biggest softcore download sites on the Internet. So that's okay, then.

Finding out the name of the male actor in this scene was a much more momentous task, however.

Appearance: Andromina - The Pleasure Planet (1999)
Characters: Dancer & Pilot

Right, so, yeah, I've mentioned this film before - three times, in fact. The jury's still out in my mind as to whether the set-up is sexist or not (the overall theme of recruiting girls from a female-only planet in order to work at an intergalactic strip club suggests it is; a variety of empowered and tough female characters says otherwise), but in any case, the sex scenes are done well enough, and it's often overlooked in lieu of other Surrender fare.

One of the boxes to tick in a by-the-numbers Surrender film is that the first sex scene should happen
It took me ages to snapshot this particular frame.
in the first few minutes after the opening credits roll... before the main plot happens, if that is achievable. This one itself happens pretty much instantly after the opening credits finish - it's perhaps the most immediate sex scene in any soft porn film - although it doesn't really establish anything; it's just sex.


What it does do, which the other scenes in the film don't manage to accomplish, is incorporate three positions often used in softcore (missionary, doggie, astride), and take place on Andromina. None of the rest of the film actually does, which makes me wonder why Andromina - unless it's a small planetoid with one strip club on it - is called "the Pleasure Planet", but then I'm overanalysing. As I do. Probably not you. But I do.

ANYWAY! SCENE!

So this scene is, essentially, to show what happens on Andromina about ten years before the main story begins and - as such - doesn't feature any of the main characters. The participants in the sex are an unnamed female stripper - named as "Dancer" in the credits - played by Susan Hale (whose real name, I found out today, is actually Darby Daniels) and an equally-unnamed male pilot, played by Tre Cool... sorry, I mean Tre Temptor... in what appears to be his only screen appearance. She's dancing; he gets up on stage; they have sex.

Huzzah.

Except that's not all. The entire thing - dancing, stripping and sex - happens on stage, in full view of an audience played by Robert Mahood, Daniel Cheldon, Thomas Vozza, Mark Smith, Don Pascual, Donald James and Jack Steele. One of them - although I don't know which; they're all nameless characters - is some sort of cyborg with a video camera attachment STICKING OUT OF HIS HEAD (that must make getting passport photos taken a challenge), and he spends some time leaning uncomfortably close to them, seemingly filming the sex. Whether or not this is a hidden message about voyeurism or invasion of privacy or just something the writer or actor felt like throwing in is unclear, but it makes me feel a little uncomfortable.

Stop filming, idiot! This isn't gonzo porn!

The rest of the scene I kind of like. It's quite formulaic, with sex happening in three stages - missionary, then doggie, then astride - each shown in sequence with a mix shot and (strangely) applause from the audience to indicate the change. They are a rowdy bunch.

"My neck feels so soft!"
The sex starts at 02:09 in the file I've got here, which means that the first two minutes and nine seconds are basically messing about aimlessly on stage and some slightly dull disrobing. The crowd cheer for no apparent reason as we mix to Hale on her back and Temptor on top of her, not actually doing very much. Her hair is splayed out attractively an he does some interesting things with his arms and her legs, but not much actual action happens until we get a close-up, which I'm assuming is what the robot-man-camera-voyeur-coloured-python-rock-snake is filming. There's some more pointless applause and neck-kissing, before a mix at 03:16 to the second stage of the sexy sexy sex.

This bit is doggie, and in my opinion is the best bit of the scene, if you can call it that. Cambot appears to have given up filming them (although he stands up for a few seconds, looks confused and then sits down - interesting sequence of events there), and we get some quite good angles. Doggie is very popular in soft porn and it's not hard to see why; you get a fair view of both participants, and as neither Hale nor Temptor is particularly unattractive, that's not so bad a thing. There are some odd close-ups which give us a view of Hale's back - it's quite a sexy back, I suppose - and Temptor's washboard stomach, which makes me feel a little queasy. Still, at least he looks like he's enjoying himself.
 
At about 03:40 he gives her three incredibly light-looking spanks, accompanied by a musical note
What could compare to my hair today?
clearly added in post-production, as not even the best of softcore music composers could plan that far ahead. This is followed by my favourite bit, some fairly enthusiastic sex with Temptor actually holding Hale by her elbows while she bumps and grinds against him. (I don't care if it's probably impossible, it's a hot bit of sex!) This is - as I've just noticed in rewatching - accompanied by something that sounds a bit like a broken wind machine, but is probably the crowd giving some sort of odd vocal support like they do to accompany the descending columns in Pointless. Whatever it is, it's quickly overlaid by some more scattered applause until 04:30, at which we mix to Stage Three.


Riding. Okay, well, there's less than a minute of this as the scene is already overlong. They're meant to have hit their stride at this point and the first few moments are shown from the front, with one audience member making a noise like a dying cat...

...seriously, there's no other way to describe it...

 ...and then there's the odd spot of riding. It's not particularly bouncy as some astride scenes are, nor is it particularly intense "soft" riding like we get in Emmanuelle in Space. There's a vague middle ground it occupies, most comparable to Kira Reed's first scene in Passion Cove's episode "The Surrogate" OH GOD I NEED TO GET OUT MORE, but it's not unpleasant, just unremarkable until about 04:50ish - but that's because the orchestra clearly get bored and start playing some odd synth lines which haven't been present at all until this point. Wonderfully redundant; well done, guys.

They sell BEER? In a bar? Well, I never!
Sex speeds up a bit with some smiles and bouncing hair from Hale, and then we just... kind of... finish. End of scene. Switch your camera off, weird man-machine-HAL hybrid.

What do I like about this scene? Well, I like Susan Hale. I haven't mentioned her before and a lot of her scenes are pretty duff, but she's a fairly decent actress and I like her makeup in this scene - clearly she's meant to be some kind of non-human alien because she's got diamonds stuck to her face - and her costume. I know there's not a lot of it, but she keeps both her cardboard necklace thingy and her boots on during the entire scene, which is always a nice touch that I appreciate. The same can't really be said for Tre Temptor - I don't dislike him but he doesn't really add much to the scene apart from being a bit of manflesh for Hale to have sex with. But I suppose that's probably the point.

I don't, however, like the way that this is staged. The d├ęcor is too seedy even for the setup - neon
There's an empty chair here. Are you meant to be in it? Weird.
lighting suggests cyberpunk and it's not even that (by the way, somebody make some cyberpunk soft porn; I'd watch the hell out of that!), the lighting is quite poor so you can't see some bits, and some of the camera angles are slightly dodgy. The music's fine, insofar as it works, but it's not brilliant. And the audience start to get annoying at some point, which makes me wonder if this scene is meant to be more exploitative than erotic. Even if it isn't, it's managing it, which is a worry.


However, having said that, I do like it - it's something I've come back to a few times. It gets me aroused, makes me hard, and has sometimes even helped me orgasm. And that's what it's all about, at the end of the day.

6 comments:

Love and lust in London said...

A bloke with a cam coming out of his head would be most offputting. I like the look of the under-stage lighting in these scenes. And steampunk soft porn would be magnificent.

O

Innocent Loverboy said...

(i) It would - I doubt I'd be able to concentrate on anything else, really.

(ii) Me too - I think the glass stage is illuminated from below in addition to reflecting the light from the lamps above. Without it, I think the setting would have been too dark to see anything particularly substantial.

(iii) I have a soft spot for steampunk - as well as cyberpunk; either of them would make for excellent soft porn backup. If I get some time, I may well write some erotica of the genre myself.

erotic stories said...

sex stories are very hot.............

Conall Harrison said...

Really looks very hot journey. I really like it so much. Thanks for sharing...

Anonymous said...

Thanks for analyzing this scene; this is actually my favorite softcore scene of all-time, as well as the most erotic thing I've ever seen!

Innocent Loverboy said...

Yep - it's certainly one of my favourites too. Hardly the most erotic thing I've ever seen, but still...!