Sunday, 14 September 2014

Pearl bracelet

I am sorry to report, as if it made any difference to you, gentle reader, that my orgasms of late have been fewer and further between than usual of late, other factors getting in the way such as marvelling at exactly the amount of healthy and ebullient glow exuded by Robinson and wondering how to make green buttercream icing that actually stays on the top of cakes.

This doesn't excuse the behaviour of my last two orgasms, although I forget when they were exactly, both self-induced (because I'm good at that, yo), after both of which a ring of semen managed to form in an almost perfect circular formation around not just one side, but both sides of my right forearm, giving the curious impression that I am in fact wearing a bangle made out of semi-colloid milk.

It was so geometrically aligned that I almost felt it a shame to wash off, although I can't go Through Life with a cum bracelet on my wrist - it'd be a talking point, I suppose - although exactly where to put the tissue also caused an issue. Wherever it went, there would be some left, and (dextrous as my left hand may be) it would be difficult to circle 360 degrees around my wrist and make sure I got it all off.

So in the end I grabbed some toilet tissue and wrapped it wound my arm like some soft of emergency bandage, and then pulled it off in one fell swoop...

...which kind of worked well enough, at least until next time I came, when exactly the same phenomenon happened, and I was both satiated and dumbfounded at the same time. Not a condition to be in if you're meant to be puzzling out exactly how gravity works in this situation.

But next time, I think I'll use my other hand. And we'll see how that works!


Sati said...

Try using half butter and half Trex or other shortening. If that doesn't work, increase the amount of icing sugar. For the buttercream, not the pearl bracelet...although that might also be interesting.

Innocent Loverboy said...

I ended up making icing which decadently, almost indecently oozed down the side of the cakes. Made them taste more sugary than I'd intended, but very very naughtily delicious.