Friday, 18 July 2014

Clueless

Sometimes I haven't a clue what to say.

I've been working hard this week. Maybe not as hard as I could have been; who knows? I keep getting hauled off to do stuff I'm not rota'd to do; where or not that's a good thing is also a bit of a moot point. I'm working. I'm presumably getting paid for it - although, again, who knows?

But, again, I haven't a clue what to say sometimes.

Which is weird... because I get people firing questions at me all the time and I field them like I'm in some sort of universal game of Trivial Pursuit. Maybe I deal with them well - maybe I don't. I don't really mind, to be honest. Because it sounds like something to say. And I do - I have plenty to say. I just lack the opportunity to say it.

I had the afternoon off today and lay in my room reading Divergent. Upon returning to the office to pick up some stuff (I forget what) I chanced across a colleague who was just leaving. Bid her farewell, went up to the office and found nobody there. I felt very ethereal and suddenly realised that I was, in fact, feeling incredibly emotional. Perhaps a combination of heat, work, stress, tiredness and all that comes with it.

But probably because I'm an emotional person.

In any case, I was still there when someone from management entered discreetly.

"How are you?" she enquired innocently, making me jump.
I was completely silent. Because I hadn't a clue what to say.
"I've... I'm feeling a bit... maybe..." I started. Stopped, swallowed, started again. "Emotional?"
This probably wasn't the "fine, thanks - you?" she was expecting. "What's up?"
"Oh... nothing," I said. Which was a lie. It wasn't nothing. I've just no idea what it was. "I've just been..."

"You've just been..."
"...working hard," we finished together.

There was a pause. Once again, I didn't have anything to say.

"I'm hungry," I announced. And I swanned off to find some semblance of food. I chatted to some people about music and even managed to slip in a casual mention of My Little Pony, although I'm still not sure why that happened no please don't judge me it's been a long week let me relax how I want dammit!

And so I return to my room and open up a window to write a blog post.

But I haven't a clue what to say. So I'll just stick with this:

Hello!

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