Tuesday, 22 July 2014

Addiction XVIII: Music

It may be fair, or possibly TMI, to claim that music turns me on more than any porn. Perhaps not sexually, as such - but I get a high from music as dizzying as the finest orgasm, an edge unlike anything else I feel. I live and breathe music. It rushes through my head and encircles my brain. It stays with me and beats on every step I take. Rhythm pervades in the heavy breaths of my roomie, the jaunty steps of my colleagues, the clatter of steps on the stairs and the musical ululation of my speech.

I'm imagining most of you can say the same.

I used to listen to music pretty much 24/7. It was the first thing I did in the morning and the last thing at night. I turned on my computer to play music. Now, in my boring adult life, I've stopped doing that, seeking solace in the newspaper on the way into work and only occasionally plugging in my iPod on the way back. I've also seemed to fall off the wagon of going on long walks, voices and instruments being my accompaniment on those warm summer nights.

Here in my room I can indulge once again.

And I grab those moments. When the colleague who is rooming with me is busy and I'm alone. Or even if he is and I can plug in my headphones. I put it on and turn it up loud. I sing along at the top of my voice like I used to. I drum my fingernails across the desk surface. I applaud along with the audience. I even close my eyes and imagine myself there, at the front, or up there with the band, or watching from the side of the stage.

I feel like myself again.

And that's one reason why I'm DJing at a disco tonight. Except I also found out recently that there's a song called #SELFIE, so there's that too.

Swings and roundabouts, I suppose.


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