Tuesday, 24 June 2014

TMI Tuesday: School Daze

I haven't done TMI Tuesday for a while, so I'm doing so now in order to clear a little writer's block. Today's topic is about school, with a list of subjects, the prompt being to share a memory. I'm going to try and think of something sex-related for each subject, as there ought to be one - they're your formative years, of course!

Credit should go to Virtual Sin for this idea. Let's see if I'm any good at interpreting it. (Spoiler: Probably not.)

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1. English

By far my favourite subject and the one that I was best at, I basically lived for English lessons and (to be frank) showed off a lot in every single way I possibly could. I also had a lot of good teachers in the subject, so I got pretty lucky with that, too.
Sexual Moment: My year 8 teacher was my favourite - he seemed to really "get" me. I remember a dicussion about rape in the class, and he went through the mechanics of female-to-male rape. At the age of 13, this would have been shocking - now I'm 29, I'll agree that what he had to say made a lot of sense.


2. History

I took this one for A-Level after not doing the GCSE. It was always one of my favourite subjects, but I didn't have space for it in year 10. I enjoyed the AS and A2, though, although I probably worked a little too hard on the coursework - over ten redrafts of the damn thing!
Sexual Moment: Discussing whether or not Rasputin would have been any good in bed. I think the general consensus was that he would have been, although I can't exactly remember what the catalyst was for coming to that assumption. During the leavers' party at the end of the sixth form, we danced to Rah Rah Rasputin at my history teacher's suggestion. I also wore a Ché Guevara T-shirt underneath my dress shirt to that party, like I was trying to be subversive or something.


3. Foreign Languages

I actually took German up to GCSE level after chucking French at the end of year 9 (because I could already speak enough French and was wasting my time, basically). My German lessons were brilliant fun, mainly because we had one of the best teachers I've ever encountered.
Sexual Moment: Among the phrases we got to write in our vocabulary books was "my girlfriend is gay". We decided that this was a very useful phrase to know if you happened to be a girl.


4. Psychology - we didn't do this subject at our school. I think you'd be hard pressed to find a school that did offer it around here, although I know some people did it via the collegiate system, so it must have been available somewhere...


5. Mathematics

My least favourite subject and the one that I was worst at, although (like everything else) I was in the top set and took the Higher paper for GCSEs. I scraped a B - which was my lowest grade - and gave it up after year 11. I was very pleased to have that grade for a subject I had zero enthusiasm for.
Sexual Moment: One of the best moments I ever had at school was when we entered the classroom to find somebody had written "RS RULES!" on the board in huge letters. I actually liked RS, but a lot of people didn't. My former bully walked into the room, took one look and disparagingly said, "RS rules, my arse!" Our maths teacher came back instantly with, "I really don't want to know what rules your arse!"


6. Physics
7. Chemistry
8. Biology


Since I didn't take any of these for A-Level, I took all three as one subject - Double Science. I wasn't really a scientist, although I took the extension paper for year 9 SATS along with Einstein and Lightsinthesky. Our rationale being that if we took the higher paper for Science, we should be able to work out how to cook Super Noodles. Our results were more successful than our noodle cookery, of course.
Sexual Moment: During year 9, we had a cool young teacher and a few rather excitable young ladies in the class. One of them, the one who kept talking about sex (although there were a number of these), came up with the idea of giving a suggestive thrust of her hips with the phrase "givin' it a kickstart!" whenever a kickstart was needed (this could be as simple as lighting a match, however; anything was an excuse for that motion). Later in her career, she decided she wanted to be a science teacher. In the same lesson, she wrote a letter to her boyfriend which contained the words "fuck me now!", which my former bully read out loud to the class in his best commanding voice.


9. Gym

In this country, we don't tend to have "gym" - I've always referred to is as "PE", or "ouch, that hurts." I'm not the sporty type, so I didn't have much time for Games - the core element of PE we had to keep taking until year 11. I quite liked the more elegant bits, though, such as dance, acrobatics and stretching. I wasn't any good (apart from at dance, wherein I was OK), but I tried really hard. It just wasn't my strong point.
Sexual Moment: It's difficult to define one, because what a lot of the more uncouth boys decided was sexual (mostly bra-less girls running around with a very thin sports T-shirt on) I usually decided was a little disrespectful. I was more concerned with my physical appearance during changing time - one of my bullies once saw that I had swollen nipples, latched onto the size of my moobs and never let me forget it. He even composed a song about my "big tits", which I chose to ignore.


Bonus: Did you have sex education class in school? What grade or age did you have this class? Thinking back on the sex education class what was the most surprising thing you learned? Was this class helpful to you in your sex life?

Yes. Year 9 - I would have been about 14 at this point. This was, in my opinion, far too late to have sex ed - we had a brief mount in year 7, but it wasn't really enough, and mostly about the biology. The whole "responsibility" part wasn't covered until PSHE two years later.
I didn't learn much in this class, as it was mostly about how not to get HIV - we watched the same video twice! I put a condom on a cucumber once - it's the thing to do, apparently - and that was the extent of our hands-on approach. It wasn't the best sex ed class, but it was better than nothing at all.
Sexual Moment: For a class all about sex, this one wasn't really very sexy. I always had my suspicions about my form teacher, however. Apparently he was a "smooth mover" on the dance floor, and ended our entire sex ed class with the declaration, "yeah, so... sex is wonderful." Nice to know, 54-year-old form teacher. Cheers.

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