Wednesday, 25 June 2014


My sister moves into our house for a while soon, and so we're sorting beds and rooms out. While I am slightly concerned that things here will be a little too cramped, I am somewhat more concerned about what to do with the large collection of smut and sex toys that's accrued under our bed. While sorting it out in order to put it all in a large bag that's going to be hidden somewhere in the attic, I took a list of what we've still got (considering we've lost some of it at points, and gained more, of course).

Here's the general idea:


Lunchboxxx containing:
1 x jelly wedding-ring-that's-actually-a-cock-ring
1 x Sex Toys UK inflatable thingy
5 x female vibrators
1 x set of Ben Wa balls

Velvet Lovehoney pouch containing:
5 x YES lube sachets
4 x  Give Lube sachets
1 x Pasante lube sachet
13 x Pasante condoms (assorted)
7 x Pasante Halo condoms
6 x SKYN condoms
6 x Durex condoms (assorted)
2 x glow-in-the-dark sperm keyrings 
1 x bottle of Durex sensilube

6 x Eroticon lanyards
7 x books (erotica and sex manuals)
1 x book manuscript (self-published)
2 x notebooks (unused)
1 x female G-spot vibrator
1 x PULSE male sex toy
collection of adverts, leaflets, bumph, etc.

1 x softcore VHS
14 x softcore DVDs
3 x hardcore DVDs
1 x Lovers' Guide DVDs

I also have a REV 1000 somewhere, but I've no idea where that is!

In any case, it filled the whole storage bag. On the plus side, there's much more room under the bed now...


Anonymous said...

Full house! My sympathies. Why is she moving in?

Innocent Loverboy said...

She used to live in a commune/shared space in a converted warehouse with over 20 others, including one of our cousins (who moved there specifically to be with my sister, it seems). It was managed by her boyfriend, who collected rent and stuff.

She broke up with her boyfriend recently under strange circumstances (although she does that a lot) and since then things have been a little tense, although from what I hear they've been passing ships for a while.

She also got a new, well-paid job so she can afford to move to a little flat with a friend of hers who I've met (he's a bit weird) - and possibly also my cousin, but I don't think she wants to move, actually.

In the interim between moving out and in somewhere else she'll be here at SH. SH can comfortably house two - five is going to be a stretch, but we shall have to manage somehow!

Anonymous said...

I see. I recall you mentioning the warehouse community in previous entries and I'd wondered if the council had successfully evicted the occupants. If you don't mind my nosiness, what constitutes "strange circumstances?"

Innocent Loverboy said...

They haven't been evicted, no. This was a threat but apparently it has passed. There was talk of me living there at some point...

The reason I think the circumstances were strange is because she seemed to have very little reason for breaking up with him! She's had a lot of boyfriends in her time, and I seem to get told a reason for every break-up... but she was with this guy for years and it came totally out of the blue!