Sunday, 22 June 2014

Shine

If this week was difficult, and it was, it wasn't made any easier by the attitude of my parents, who - to be fair - are under a lot of pressure. But they've been taking it out on me at some points, and... "dude, that's not right." I've had comments about my job, with my mother saying that it's not a real job and hinting that it's either beneath me or that I'm not suited for it. I've been criticised for how I dress - these comments contradict earlier ones, so I've no idea what they want - and I still get comments on my weight, my mother telling me yesterday morning that the size of my stomach suggests I'm getting diabetes.

I already feel bad enough about my physical appearance; I don't need my mother pretty much telling me I'm getting fat verbatim. Because I've been ill, I haven't been able to exercise this week - not that that seems to be making much difference anyway, to be fair.

By the end of the week, I was a bit of a wreck.

I was invited to spend summer solstice last night with @pandorablake (of Dreams of Spanking and other stuff) who, as it turns out, lives about 15 minutes' walk from my house. I asked (persuaded, actually) Jilly to come with me, and off we went. We were 45 minutes late and were still the first ones there. I last saw Pandora at Eroticon 2014, which seems worlds away by now, but it's genuinely pleasant to have somebody in the community who is actually nearby, what with all the "being-far-away" everyone else seems to be doing these days.

As the evening melted slowly into midsummer's night, we were joined by more people - those she knew through various misadventures. I was steadily reminded of my headier days, those of my early 20s, where I used to stay up all night with the more liberated and culturally sensitive, and by the time midnight came around, I felt perfectly at ease, plus mesmerised by fire poi.

One whole night spent awake surrounded by diverse, accepting, experienced, unique sex-positive people and I felt like everything in the world was as aligned at it could be (hugs, cuddles and kind words were a bonus too... and those were all certainly shared). So, for that, my sincere thanks to everyone involved.

Next week may not be fun, considering on how bad people at work and home fuck things up. But I do, at least, have the advantage of starting the week feeling better about my body than I did seven days ago. So that is certainly something.

Friends are good, yo.

3 comments:

hornygeekgirl said...

Really glad you had people to cheer you up and offer support after such a rough week. Love how parents can be so dim when trying to be supportive. >hugs<

Pandora Blake said...

It was so great to meet you. Thank you for coming! You fitted in really well, and it was awesome to have you both there.

Innocent Loverboy said...

@HGG: Yes, it was very pleasant. Thanks a lot for your support, also!

@PB: Thank you for inviting us - we were pleased with how well we seemed to fit in, and came home really enthused from the whole experience! I hope to see you again soon.