Thursday, 29 May 2014


I just Googled someone and found out that he's a business consultant. Considering how hard he worked at school, I'm quite pleased for him. I was always quite worried that he would do the "go to Hollywood" route - spend a lot of time in preparation, try really hard, and yet get nothing in return - so I'm assuming that this is a good job that he deserves to get.

I've only met this guy a few times, but he always seemed like a nice guy to me. He was introduced to me as a "bod" - that is to say, he was clever and therefore disliked by his peers. As a bod myself, I enjoyed talking to him on ICQ (wow, that just aged me 15 years) and marvelled at how lame his personal homepage (yes, personal homepage) was, despite it managing to pack in a number of pictures, text and a WAV file without being anything above 1MB in total. I even tricked him into thinking that I had a hot girlfriend once...

...but let's not go into that.

I've since met this guy at house parties while at university and beyond; however, the main reason I remember him is based around a whole ICQ message from back-in-the-day. I was on my computer in the lounge and nothing much was happening.

channel 3 - itv

I walked across to the TV, turned on ITV and saw Michael Douglas doing something or another.

what is that? I asked.

you're too late - you missed the good bit... with the woman

I turned the TV off and continued doing nothing for a while.

I met with a mutual friend about a week later and we had a discussion about how this fellow bod was "like that", although what "like that" was lacked any further definition. Remember that I was about 13 or 14 at the time and still a little green when it came to sexual interest - I myself was watching soft porn regularly by this point, of course, but when it comes to talking about it... well, I'd never talk about it. And a six-second sex scene in a mainstream movie with Michael... M'Douglas is totally off-limits for sexual excitement. I mean, that's not the point... right...?

As time continued on, I found myself in more ICQ conversations in which this fellow bod managed to slip a reference to porn into things somehow, until finally he came out and said it blatantly.

yeah, i like porn lol... hard porn is great, but soft porn is more of an art form! lol

I agreed (and still do), but I still didn't say anything.

A pervasive theory is that young men spend all of their time talking about porn (if not football), due to the fact that they think about sex every six, seven, or eight seconds (it varies according to which hackneyed piece of false information you're reading). I can't remember even mentioning porn out loud before the age of about 17 or 18, which I originally knew as "porno". In any case, even people such as Lightsinthesky (who clearly had a lot of the stuff) were shy of mentioning its existence, as if in total denial about our sexual development. Our token black friend was the first in our group to lose his virginity, but even he didn't talk about that much, either.

I do have to wonder if other groups of boys talked about porn in such a frank context. I don't know - there was no way of knowing. Infrequent half-mentions of soggy biscuit and "whacking off competitions" gleaned from watching at the fringes of cool weren't enough to get much of an idea, and although porn was a pervasive topic, it was always mentioned as a bit of a joke, as were cybersex and sexting (although we did those too, to various degrees). I talk about porn a lot now, of course... but then I'm 29 and a sex blogger.

As for my fellow bod... well, he's a business consultant. I have no idea if he's ever had sex. I don't wish to know. But I am divided in opinion as to how I feel about him now. In part, I respect him for working hard, keeping up a pleasant enough demeanour despite all the pressure and cheerfully mentioning porn in mixed company, even if it was over ICQ. But the other half of me feels a slight amount of resent...

...because he got higher GCSE results than me.

Old wounds don't go away.


ladypandorah said...

Gosh, Disclosure takes me back a few years. I probably taped it from ITV And had that particular scene on a loop for a little while. If I recall correctly, some form of oral took place. Can't exactly remember if it was Demi Moore or Mr Douglas who got the experience, though.

I think that more youngsters are talking about porn these days, from what I've understood, both genders. As it is more accessible on phones they tend to, maybe not necessarily share clips, but at the very least tell one another of what they've seen. But then, this is more of a phase, rather than a continuous dialogue, as they discover it.

LP xo

Innocent Loverboy said...

I think you're right about the youngsters discovering porn, particularly on smartphones. Tyger Drew-Honey's recent documentary touches on the subject itself, in fact.

Although I do think it will always be something people snigger over, whether or not that's a good thing. It's better than being disgusted by the concept, anyway.

I've never seen any of Disclosure past the few seconds mentioned above. And clearly I came in just after the oral sex happened. I don't find either of those actors particularly attractive, though, so maybe not too keen to anyway.