Sunday, 16 March 2014

Soft Porn Sunday: Kim Dawson & Bobby Johnston

It's weird, isn't it,when you look through your soft porn collection and find a scene that you sort of thought you knew you had but hadn't really registered? It's also funny, right, when you lazily click through the scene to see if it's worth reviewing and it looks good? And isn't it strange, n'est-ce pas, when you end up watching the scene and find that it's not that good after all? You know that feeling?

Okay, then maybe you don't. I've been doing this for years, whereas you probably have something better to do. I'm drinking tea and watching soft porn. Life's a bitch.

Appearance: I Like To Play Games Too (1999)
Characters: Mona & Dominick

...hahahahaha.

...

...haha.

...Hang on a minute, I haven't finished holding my sides from the incredibly intelligent and not-at-all hackneyed gag they've done there, what with calling the second film in a series "...Too". It sounds like "two", you see? Insightful! Inspired! Incredible!

...Insane!

Okay, if I can stop laughing long enough, I'll do the premise. But let's start with a bit of history.

I don't like the original I Like To Play Games, and if you haven't already guessed from the witty title,
Is it just me or does she have four breasts?
this is a direct sequel without many of the main characters. The "games" referred to actually mean a light form of BD/SM, with a few light bondage scenes, candle play and something which doesn't really go as far as to be called submission (but is heading in that direction) - the twist being that the male lead is submissive to the female lead (Lisa Boyle). As I said, I'm not a fan - not because of the subject matter, but because the sex scenes are too short and not really erotic in any way.


I Like To Play Games Too (snicker) introduces a new male lead, played by Bobby Johnston, named Dominick. Yes, I'm aware that's not how you spell "Dominic", but evidently this is meant to be quirky, or somebody would've bothered to check. Not that it matters, really, as all Dominic/k spends his time doing in this film is have sex. I evidently downloaded this scene at some point in history because I like Kim Dawson; I find her scenes to often be stimulating and well-put-together, although as with every bit of softcore, there's a little give and take. This scene does well enough, but maybe... not well enough.

Let's try to explain.

The sex takes place in an office, and it's between Mona, played by Kim Dawson (whose real name is
This scene wasn't erotic enough, so we added some nude art.
Kim Sill, which I didn't know until just now) and Donimic/k, played by Johnston. It's on a fake leather sofa (I'm sure the same one is used in every piece of softcore there is) and it starts with the camera panning down to a close-up of Mona with her breasts exposed. She sports the classic Kim Dawson big-blonde-hair-look and it seems to he shaping up to be a good enough scene.


In fact, if you were to judge this scene in what people are wearing, this wouldn't be too bad. Mona is wearing matching lingerie and stockings, and Dominic/k is wearing a gold watch which he manages to keep on during the sex (I always remove my watch during sex, I don't know about you.). Donimic/k also removes Mona's pants during the necessary "undress a bit" part, which actually lasts 31 seconds, whereas a lot of scenes with this sort of get-up just assume that it's physically possible to penetrate someone through sheer panties if you're wearing hold-ups.

You can't, by the way.

The sex cycles through missionary-ish, doggie-ish, more missionary-ish, sitting-up-doggie-ish, an attempt at a kiss, more missionaryawn, and the post-coital cuddle thingy, all while the film's "other female character with a name", Suzanne (Maria Ford), watches really indiscreetly (seriously, she's just standing there in a doorway!) without changing her face one iota. The wax models in The Day of the Doctor have more expression, for Glod's sake.

For a scene which mostly consists of mugging and two sex positions cycled through relatively quickly,
Damn it, woman! Move!
there's not too much to commend. I mean, everything looks pretty, including all three actors involved plus the d├ęcor (strange picture on the wall notwithstanding) and the clothes that Suzanne's wearing. Mona doesn't take her damn bra off during the whole scene, which annoys me, but at least her underthings match nicely enough. Dominic/k, strangely, has a larger body than a lot of softcore actors, which is a bit of comfort for those of us who could afford to lose weight (example: me), and Mona just looks good.


The problem I have with this is that it's really uninspired. The sex doesn't really go anywhere - it just starts and then stops. Two of my favourite positions to depict are wasted because they're repeated so much, and although a few brave attempts at sex noises are made, there isn't much else. There's not a lot of movement, either - which is a surprise, since every other scene I've seen Kim Dawson is in has quite a lot.

The series that stars her the most (Bedtime Stories) allows for a bit of space - even on fake leather
Help! They've put Miley Cyrus in soft porn!
sofas. In a large bed, with more space to manoeuvre, you've got more opportunities for sex to be lively and interesting. Bedtime Stories makes much better use of the room available and the talents of Kim Dawson, who can pull off exciting and realistic energy in pretending to have sex when she's on top of her game. Here, she's just pressed under Bobby Johnston most of the time, so there isn't much she can do apart from pull faces and moan a bit. It even looks fake, which isn't the point of soft porn, dammit! Throw in some uninspired music with a sax wailing like in every 90s softcore movie and it just feels like a dud scene.


I'm irritated by this not only because it's a bit of a dull scene, but because it's a waste. This could have been so much better had Mona been on top or if they'd transferred the action to somewhere else, even the floor! They don't even show the whole sofa most of the time as nearly every scene is in close-up. It's just not very well thought out, and with just a few adjustments, it could be better. Much better. This was the problem with the first film in the series, however, so it's a bit of a forlorn hope that you're going to get it fixed with the second one. But still.

This scene wouldn't get me to orgasm. That's the final word, really. It might start me off, but it wouldn't finish me off. But that's why it's part of a collection, I suppose!

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