Thursday, 19 September 2013

Sexual Pirate Health Rehousing Week

Yarr, avast, walk the plank, captain's log, jolly roger and all that. Okay, that's that over with.

Over the past few weeks, where I'm staying has been somewhat transient. As of a few days ago, I'm back in the little room I share with my girlfriend in the house of mystery somewhere in North London. Having being house-sitting (and having sex) in two family homes for upwards of five weeks recently, coming back to a place that's actually set up for us is a remarkably strange experience, made even stranger by the fact that we haven't had sex here yet and it's been four days now.

Anyway, it's Sexual Health Week this week, and I'm determined to do my bit in a more practical way than linking to the XES campaign (although I can do that too!). I'm just not sure what to say. Over the past few weeks, poor Jilly has been off her pill, so although we've been having sex (and we have a lot of this), we've been using condoms. Which, of course, I don't mind. I just don't like condoms too much.

I was advised to try Skyn condoms by Ruffled Sheets and about 420538752837 others, and (with the exception of one ribbed Durex condom and, erm, this one), that's what I've been unrolling over my erect penis for the past month or so. I wasn't going to review these, so I won't, because my reviews of condoms are pretty dull anyway, and I don't have much more to say about them, no matter how thin they are. My penis isn't very sensitive, especially with a condom on. I don't feel as much as I do without one on and I'm very aware that I'm wearing one. As such, I genuinely didn't notice any difference with a Skyn.

Seriously. No difference. It was slightly easier to put on my massive throbbing penis. That's about the only difference I noticed.

Having said that, though, I am very grateful for the existence of condoms (and the fact that I keep getting the things for free). Without them, we wouldn't have been able to have sex at all, and in these recent stressed times, sex is a calming, grounding and settling thing. Something we can share and enjoy together. Only less like chocolate in front of an episode of Knightmare and more like making each other writhe and squirm in ecstatic joy (Knightmare comes afterwards). Jilly is back on oral contraception now, for which I think we are both grateful, and when I've worked my magic on her, I'm sure we'll be back to the full-on sexy sexy sex thing in our own bed, like, very quite really soon.

Tonight I plan to show her Pirates. We'll see how that one turns out.

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