Sunday, 19 May 2013

Soft Porn Sunday: Amber Newman & Stella Porter

It's not often that I enjoy a lesbian soft porn scene. There are quite a few out there, as I'd imagine they're easy to shoot and they do cater for a market of a sort... the market being people that are turned on by lesbian soft porn, I suppose. This doesn't include me. Nevertheless, there have to be some exceptions to the rule. This is one such exception.

Appearance: Dungeon of Desire (1999)
Characters: Vickie & Lady-in-Waiting

Vickie (Newman), Carrie (Susan Featherly) and Jill (Regina Russell) aren't having the best of times, really. They've... somehow... been zapped into the past, and appeared in a castle of some kind. Only the castle wizard (Burke Morgan, famous for playing non-sexual old men in soft porn) knows how to help them escape: sexual energy!

I'm going to give you a few seconds to read that paragraph through once more. Now tell me that it makes any sense at all, and I'll be amazed.

Into this mix throw an imprisoned princess played by Mia Zottoli, named Gwen, who isn't allowed to see her sweetheart, because her wicked stepmother (yes, really) is a bit of a bitch. Although she spends a lot of time ruminating on this, it doesn't seem to bother Gwen too much, as she spends nearly all her time making love to her lady in waiting (Porter), which makes up the first sex scene in the film. While Jill is off having a miserable time, Carrie and Vickie chance across the princess and her sex slave servant. Hilarity ensues.

This scene happens at a relatively early point in the narrative, such as it is. Jill, who is reduced to mucking out animals in a stable for some obscure reason, says something huffy like, "this is a very poorly-scripted scene in an incredibly unrealistic set. I hope Carrie and Vickie are having a really miserable time right now."

Joke's on you, Jill! Vickie's having sex with the handmaiden! Isn't that a laugh?

For all I said about lesbian soft porn being easy to film, it must be easy to write. Unless there's some sort of artificial penetrative device, like a strap-on or dildo, involved (and there never is; it's not hardcore), there's no actual kind of indication as to the point which sex, or what one may consider sex, has begun, so what you actually get is a kind of extended foreplay, culminating in the two ladies (or two of the ladies) doing scissors, which I suppose is the "equivalent". As I say, difficult to write. Let's attempt to describe.

Of course, the candle's the star.
The scene starts with a pan from a candle over to the two enrobed girls involved having a bit of a touch and a kiss, before disrobing, which happens relatively quickly. You can tell this scene is going to be good from this point, really, as the music contains an electric guitar (or a synthesised one) and both Vickie and the unnamed servant are pleasant on the eye. They can also both act, which I suppose helps, in some small way. And there's kissing going on, which is nice, too. Not just mouth to mouth - Vickie, who clearly knows what she's doing, concentrates for a while on the neck and cleavage too. Oh, my!

Once that bit's done with, they pause for a while to remind the viewer that they have boobs, and after some... foot-licking... and slow but sensual bump and grind, a drum beat introduces us to the second act, which focuses mostly on the lady in waiting's bottom.

And I mean it. Vickie licks it, kisses it, spanks it, presses her boobs against it, and finally, climbs on
Possibly if not actually really very good.
top in order to rub back and forth as if actually penetrating her blonde companion, which (although it sounds lame) is probably one of the hottest things I've ever seen in soft porn, which is pretty good when you realise it's two girls pretending to pretend to have sex.


There's a flip of characters immediately afterwards, and Vickie then gets to be on the receiving end, as the lady in waiting descends upon her to kiss her breasts and rub against a prostate Vickie, during which we get a few shots of, er, legs. Interesting. The girls then do scissors, which is also a good concept but doesn't really work here as it's not really too energetic considering what came beforehand, and finally Vickie gets licked to her well-deserved orgasm. Brava, ladies. Brava.

So... the big question. Why do I like this scene? Simple: it's incredibly well-done. The music isn't great, but it's enough. The setting, however, is brilliant - a plush, comfortable-looking royal bedroom, complete with drapes, deep red colours which offset the girls' skin beautifully, and candles, which kind of have to appear in softcore, really. Costumes aren't needed, but the robes look nice enough, and the camera angles show that a lot of thought really has gone into this.

But the real points have to go to the actresses. They are magnificent. Amber Newman has always
Vickie can hear the sea!
been one of my favourite softcore ladies, but she's truly excelling herself here as the lustful Vickie. Stella Porter makes for a very pleased, receptive lady-in-waiting (I wish they'd named the character, though - let's call her "Lauren"; there you go, writers), who has an impressive array of facial expressions in her repertoire. One does even have to wonder at points how much of this is scripted: there can't be that much detail in it. Hands go everywhere, kisses are plentiful and passionate, and the length of this scene suggests that there was so much to film that they ended up putting it all in. In an ideal world, I'd like to think that something more than acting was going on between these two, but we all know that couldn't be true... 


...could it?

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