Tuesday, 9 April 2013

TMI Tuesday: Ifs, ands... no butts

I'm doing TMI Tuesday after a fashion. By which I mean I'm not doing the bonus question, because it's absolutely horrendous. The rest of the questions make me feel quite wistful. Look:

1. If you had a magic beauty wand, what would you give yourself?
a. Shinier hair, hands down.
b. Glowing, soft skin – pass the moisturiser, dude.
c. Brighter eyes, with no crows' feet — I want to look less tired.
d. Nada. I love what I’ve got.


Well, I'd actually make myself thinner, but out of these four, C is the best answer. Why? Because I seem to constantly look tired. Because I constantly am tired.
Okay, that's not true, but I have "one of those jobs". And crippling insomnia... and the weather at the moment is making me feel even more tired than usual. But, to be honest, the look isn't too bad... it just makes me a little hangdog. If the wand were more varied than just dealing with the aesthetic, I'd remove the symptoms, not the appearance!


2. If you were spring-cleaning your life, what five things would you throw out?

I don't like throwing stuff out. I'm a bit of a hoarder, even though I usually plan to live with a kind of minimalist leaning. It never ends up like that. Whether I USE the stuff I hoard...
I've got a collection, somewhere, of 21 CD-Rs full of scenes from porn (generally soft). There are about three discs that I genuinely like, some more which have some scenes that I like, but there are at least five which I barely watch. I suppose they could go.


3. If money were no object, what kind of house would you buy?

A modern one with various rooms and designs, walls of white and round windows with polished glass in them. A wetroom / shower room which is entirely a shower with a large drain in the middle. A serviceable, huge kitchen. A large bedroom and two studies, at least. A studio for my music. And one room for basically nothing, just for kicks.

In fact, just give me my friend Danny's house in Switzerland. That's nice enough.


4. Have you ever visited an erotic massage parlour AND had a “happy ending”?

No, and no. Not that I haven't come close - I know where a few are, in fact. I even sent some e-mails to places to see if I could get an actual massage - not an erotic one: a real one. Lord knows, with the state my back is in, I could use one.
But... no. I've never visited an erotic massage parlour. And even if I had, I'm far too gentlemanly to demand a happy ending. I'd prefer my dénouement to be more open-ended.