I actually wrote this a few hours ago, but I had work-related commitments this evening (read: work), so I didn't get to post it. Here are my responses to some of the weirdest questions I've ever been asked, then.
Not that I'm entirely sure why, but I'm pretty sure this makes me want to put a link to Furniture Porn...
1. When you bought your bed frame, did you evaluate it in terms of ropes, handcuffs, etc?
Nope. My parents bought it while I was at university (they were decorating my room at the time, as I was away). I've had the same bed for the six or so years since that happened. Fortunately, it does have an adequate headboard for tying things to, but as I'm not really into bondage, it's only been used for very light kink. If need be, however, the criss-crossing metal is certainly enough!
2. Aside from beds, was sex ever a major consideration in choosing a piece of furniture?
No. Wow, that was a short answer!
3. Have you ever had anyone else (friend, mum) say a piece of your furniture was inappropriate because it was clearly for sexual purposes?
No. Hey, another short one!
4. Do you have a piece of furniture that has a stain caused by bodily fluids?
Yes - my mattress and my computer chair both have semen stains on. At least, I'm pretty sure they're semen stains.
My mattress also has a bloodstain on it from one of those female things I'm not allowed to know about (we tried to remove it, but it wasn't easy). In terms of my computer chair, although it's still in commission, I've replaced it with a straight-backed wooden chair from the kitchen due to my back needing a place to rest. Because this technically belongs to my parents, rather than myself, I tend to put a towel on it should I ever be naked at my computer... just in case a stain gets there!*
(*I got this idea from a girl in a sex chat room about eight years ago. Don't judge me.)
5. Do you have anything in your beside table you wouldn’t want your father or mother to know about?
I don't have a bedside table with drawers, but on the table by my bed I currently have both a biography of Russ Meyer and a book of sex positions from Ann Summers. They're both in plain sight, although I'm not sure how much my parents might see if they come to look.
There's also a box of smut at the foot of the bed (all of which belongs to my girlfriend), a multitude of softcore DVDs in a box on a shelf, and under the bed a few ILB-related things and some unused sex toys. Although my parents aren't blind enough to assume I've never been sexually active, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want them to find that much stuff!
6. Do you own any exercise equipment that is useful for sex?
I don't own any exercise equipment... apart from a Wii Balance Board, and I've never tried having sex on that...
7. Aside from your bedroom, what room do you have sex in most often?
Well, overall I most often have sex in my bedroom, but apart from that, this house offers up some interesting choices. Although I have yet to use the front lounge for full sex (although I've had a couple of blowjobs in there), I've had sex in the attic room (aka the studio, aka the ILB Hostel), the downstairs lounge and on the bathroom floor. Rooms as yet unconquered are the other bathroom, the toilet, the dining room and my parents' bedroom. Although if we'll get round to those before we move out, I'll be very surprised.
8. Do you have any electronics (TV, stereo, etc.) in your bedroom that are on during sex?
No. I really, really hate that. The most I can deal with is having quiet music on (although in one case it was James!), but I absolutely hate having the TV on or anything. There isn't a TV in my room anyway, but I once had sex with a girl who insisted upon having My Hero turned up unreasonably loud. It was distracting and annoying. I want to concentrate on the girl, not the TV! And especially not Thermoman!