Tuesday, 2 October 2012

Hardly much that's soft...

Following careful consideration, which could equally be translated as "much frustration" if you push it, I have come to the following decision: I need some new soft porn.

I am aware of how much I have. 9 DVDs, 1 VHS and five full films in AVI form, plus 24 CD-Rs and about three or so folders somewhere on my PC and external HD stuffed full of sex scenes. I know it seems greedy, but I've amassed a huge amount of firepower. And, for the most part, it works. I know what I like and I know what's effective and what isn't.

But every now and again - it hasn't happened for a while, but now and again - I do get an urge to see some new soft porn. It doesn't have to be new in terms of manufacture; just new to me. Something I haven't seen before. It has to exist somewhere; I'm just not sure what it is.

Back in the day, there was a lot to be found on L!VE TV, UK Living, Bravo! and (for a while) Sci-Fi (now SyFy) - which also showed Knightmare - and that's where I got most of my knowledge of soft porn from, although Channel 5's first few years helped as well. Some, if not all but one, of the soft porn DVDs I own, I own because I have fond memories of watching them first time around late at night on my Gran's TV, even if in some cases the scenes aren't really what I remember them being (sometimes better, sometimes worse). I must have seen practically everything soft of the border shown on British TV at least once.

However, the fact remains that there has to be more and I've no idea what it is or how to get it.

Somebody has to be making soft porn. It's an art form as well as a lucrative industry. The hardcore business is flourishing, but what's happened to the companies that made the stuff of the late '90s and early '00s? Surrender Cinema, my favourite of the companies, appears to have very little presence, as I haven't head anything from them for years and I can't find a website. Alain Siritsky's company, ASP (responsible for the Emmanuelle in Space and Justine - Sex in 3D series), can't be doing nothing, but I haven't heard of them since the most recent Emmanuelles, where she appears to be blonde. But it can't have just died.

Okay, so a lot of the actors who were famous for doing soft porn must be getting a bit... well, old. Krista Allen isn't doing it any more, Kira Reed's moved on to presenting and producing and Shannon Tweed is, well, married and probably retired. I haven't seen what Paul Michael Robinson looks like recently. But there are a lot of more recent performers who are picking up the mantle. Evan Stone, who is famous for doing hardcore, has done his number of soft porn flicks and, due to the fact that he can't act but is clearly having the best time of his life trying, is perfect for the roles he's been cast in. Not sure about any younger actresses, but I'm sure some of them still have what it takes, and those that have been around for a while (Lisa Boyle, Shannan Leigh, Amber Newman, etc.) probably still know how to work it.

And production values are never too high. You just need some cardboard sets, a couple of decent cameras and some cheesy music (although a good script helps, natch).

So where is it? I want to know! I want to see it and love it!



Sati said...

I have exactly the same problem. Except that I have no library to fall back on, and my 3G contract randomly chooses to throw me off adult sites whenever it feels like it, no matter how many times I verify my age. So I usually end up googling Red Shoe Diaries (which I can never decide upon, but they're either awful or brilliant, one of the two) or watching hentai. Or failing that, reading Mills & Boon.


Anyway, no helpful answer from me, but if you ever do find out who's making it or where to buy it, do post and let the world know.

Oh, I think this is my first comment here, although I've been reading for a few days. So hi. I'm Sati, and I think your blog is utterly delightful. :)

Innocent Loverboy said...

Thanks for commenting, Sati - and sorry for taking far too long to notice!

I also notice you're in St Albans - not too far away from me, really...