Today's TMI Tuesday is about choices. This or That. Why there's no "the other" option is mystifying.
This reminds me of a forum game I played once in which one This or That question was which website was better (they were twinned websites, so it was a tough choice). The answer given was Thunderbirds. I've never quite understood that.
Okay, now sit back and observe just how verbose I can get when I'm in smug mode.
1. Olfactometrically offensive feet or olfactometrically offensive breath?
First off, you may have noticed that I've subtly changed a word in this question. This is because I don't like the original word. It doesn't look right, it doesn't sound right, and I don't like using it.
In any case, my answer is feet. I don't like the breath (that's another word I don't like using, although not so much) much, even if it's easily treated by brushing one's teeth or chewing some gum. Even drinking a glass of water helps with that. Feet are harder to deal with, save the act of putting socks on, but I don't find the odour more unpleasant, so I'm going for that.
2. Overwhelming pleasure or repetitive numbing pain?
Clever question! At first the answer seems obvious, but now I think about it, there is something quite pleasant about repetitive numbing pain. If you have a pain and you concentrate on the throbs - usually this happens to me with teeth, but headaches too - the pain tends to just beat itself out. (NB: I realised, just after writing that sentence, that I could have phrased it as something that sounds less like pain is masturbating. But I stuck with it. It's a sex blog.) So they're both pleasant sensations.
I'm still going for overwhelming pleasure though. Because it's lovely and that doesn't mean you can't go for a calming afterglow following the event, as well.
3. Phone calls or text messages?
I like getting both, but I prefer text messages, depending on the context. I was thinking about this earlier today, actually, with fond memories of a drunk text I once got which contained the word "dual". It took me half an hour to work out that auto-correct had gone to work on "fuck".
4. Being spanked or getting spanked?
They're the same thing! Proof-read your questions!
Unless you want to go into a lexicographical argument about the difference between the verbs "to be" and "to get" - while the first can refer to a worldly state of having been spanked or just one who is spanked at some point in their existence, whereas the second one refers to a spanking (or spankings plural) as a commodity to be handed, and I'm not exactly sure that's what the TMI Tuesday team is going for, I'm going to continue to go with my first answer.
6. Go blind or become deaf?
This is a very difficult one as I really wouldn't want to lose any of my senses, but who would? I'm going to plump for blindness, because I love music too much to lose it. Obviously, I like aesthetically pleasing things as well, but blindness can (usually, depending on the severity) be at least partially corrected by special glasses or treatment. My grandfather came back from Moorfields today having had his right eye fixed, and John Lennon was technically blind, but he did okay.
Bonus: What is one choice you've made that you would like to change the outcome to?
I once chose not to tell my mother that I got a job. I knew she was stressing about me being unemployed (as if that's something new), and I was told on a Friday that I'd get some temporary work. I chose not to tell her until Sunday lunchtime, but in the meantime I told her not to stress. My head constructed a scenario in which I'd be nonchalant about it, everyone would share some banter, and at the end of it I'd get my guitar out from behind a chair and everyone would sing Red Solo Cup.
In reality, my mother yelled for about three hours because I hadn't told her immediately, and then told me that she thought I had Asperger syndrome because I clearly didn't realise other people had feelings. (I repeat: I told her not to stress).
Evidently, I'd have preferred the outcome that I thought was more likely to happen, although that's mostly because I'd like to be able to play Red Solo Cup.