Thursday, 23 August 2012

Secretary

We hadn't started doing charades. We'd been playing Cranium originally, but after my team (composed of only myself and Mane after some people had left) had won - by the narrowest of angles and our ability to spell HOGWARTS backwards (I was very tempted to start with, "Dispel!") - it dawned on someone (I'm not sure who; Mane, his little brother, friend-I-haven't-thought-of-a-name-for-yet, girl-I-used-to-have-a-crush-on and... another friend who I haven't mentioned yet... were all keen) that the most popular Cranium tasks were definitely the bits which involved acting, performance, or anything else vaguely related to making a fool of yourself. We even had a dedicated performance space (an empty door frame).

It came as no surprise, then, that there followed forty-five minutes of just acting out the green cards in rotation, all attempting to beat a total (set by Mane, who managed an impressive fifteen, not least helped by our collaborative guessing skills. I managed to guess "mud wrestling", which I was quite pleased about, and as the evening went on, I got more and more enthusiastic about it, my brain flicking through multitudes of possibilities, and even having a fair crack at it when my time came to perform. However, as eventually the sugar depleted from our collective systems, we ended up on the sofas. We'd been on the sofas anyway, but just... more so.

"Office Romance?" said Mane, pulling out one of the cards at random. "How would you do that?"
"Easy," yawned the young raver.
"Yeah... look," said Mane's brother, standing up. He then did a complicated set of actions, involving an odd hand movement back and forth with a clicking motion ("that's the photocopier!" was the correct guess), followed by a long, circular arm sweep and an action of lifting and dropping someone. That was harder to guess.
I got it in one. "You're clearing everything off a desk in wanton abandon with one sweep of your arm, and them lifting her onto the desk in order to make love to her, right?"
There was a general ripple of laughter. "Right!"
Of course it was. The arm-sweep-clearing-the-entire-desk thingy's a motif that's been repeated in soft porn so many times that I'd recognise it anywhere.

I wonder how he did it so accurately...

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