Sunday, 19 August 2012

21 Tons of TNT

I've seen other bloggers write lists like this and, on account of the fact that I don't have much I want to write about at the moment, I thought I'd share some stuff with you that's not stuff made explicit in my FAQ. As my life is a living, breathing entity which constantly shapes and moves, these facts are true as of today. Some of them will still be true whenever you're reading them. Hello, future!

Twenty-one things about me:

1. On my maternal side, I am the first of six grandchildren, and until my youngest cousin was born, I was the only boy. The four girls in between us bridge the age gap by an average of three years each, but two were born on the same week.

2. I started reading at fifteen months old, before I could speak properly. My earliest memory involves reading a book about dinosaurs, and by my reckoning, I was two years old when that happened.

3. All considered, there are six potential permanent residents of my house - seven including the cat. What with people moving and changing, at the moment there are three people living here. Currently, it's just me (and the cat) as everyone else is away - on holiday, or moved out.

4. My favourite television programmes are Knightmare, Doctor Who, University Challenge and Glee. I don't watch much other TV, although my favourite genre of programme is the humble sitcom.

5. I think American Dad! is funnier than Family Guy.

6. I have a 2:1 degree in English and two other higher academic qualifications. One is from Oxbridge, one is from the University of London, and one is from my first university.

7. My favourite book is Lord of the Flies. My favourite genre would be children's fantasy, although I am a voracious reader and I tend to read almost anything. I am quite the fan of manga and graphic novels, general fiction, sci-fi, comic fantasy and - unsurprisingly - erotic memoirs. I don't like adult fantasy very much.

8. I've been a vegetarian since I was nine. I haven't eaten any fish since I was five, but I waited four more years before becoming vegetarian. I'm the only vegetarian in my family to not have a 'blip' somewhere along the line - my mother used to eat fish (before I campaigned at her not to), and my sister started eating meat again recently.

9. My favourite food is cheese. I'm a fussy eater and prefer to make my own meals or eat things which are specifically tailored to my tastes. The best meal for me generally involves pasta, cheese of some description and perhaps a sauce with tomato in. I use olive oil in nearly everything I cook.

10. I don't eat mushrooms, bananas or baked beans because I hate all of them. I don't generally like much fruit or vegetables, but I do like greens, such as broccoli, spinach and runner beans. My favourite fruit is the orange, although I've been known to eat whole lemons and limes, and slices of pineapple.

11. I've been a Christian since I was about six. The rest of my immediate family are atheists.

12. I can't remember a period in my life where I haven't been bullied in some form or another. The closest I've been to not being picked on for something is the past year, but even then, there are some incidents which I'd classify as bullying.

13. I didn't know what hardcore porn was until well into my teens. I had assumed, before then, that every form of porn was simulated sex, and that they only used real sexual intercourse before the modern era.

14. I found out about sex when I was two. I asked my mother, and she told me everything.

13. I can't remember a time in my life since the age of 12 without actively having a crush or a girlfriend. My first crush lasted a very long time; I tended to obsess for years and never do anything. I had my first relationship when I was 17.

14. I rarely, if ever, see friends from any part of my early life other than those you'll have read about in this blog. I first met Robinson during my first day at nursery (I started nursery a bit early because I was clever).

15. My favourite bands include James, Barenaked Ladies, The Scaffold, The Cuban Boys and The Divine Comedy - to name but a few. I'll listen to most things, but genres I prefer are alternative, rock, indie, indie rock, indie pop, pop, classical, industrial metal, metal, electronica, dance, and specifically comedy songs by people like Tom Lehrer, Mitch Benn, Jay Foreman and Flanders & Swann. I don't like The Smiths.

16. I play the guitar, the violin and both tuned and untuned percussion. I've been in eight bands, but I'm not in one at the moment. I love to sing and dance. I've written over a hundred songs in my life, and I can probably play about ten of them.

17. My ideal job would be as one of those writer-actor-comedian-satirist-performer types you see guesting on Have I Got News For You. I'm able to do stand-up comedy, which often involves music. I love to write. I somewhat enjoy my current job - I won't tell you what it is, but my jobs in the past have involved bookselling, education, healthcare, IT, and research. I use the Oxford comma a lot.

18. I love animals. My favourite animal is probably the millipede, whereas my favourite pet animal is my cat; I also really like fish. There isn't really an animal I don't like. Unlike a lot of people, I like invertebrates, I'm not scared of spiders or moths, and it upsets me (sometimes to the point of tears) to see someone hurting an animal - especially killing an insect.

19. I'm a Pisces, and since I dream a lot and have unfulfilled ambitions, but tend to be generally caring and trustworthy, when you need me to be, I am a typical Pisces, as well.

20. I have fantasies about things I'd like to do to my body. Some involve peeling off the top layer of skin to remove bits that annoy me like spots, rashes, itchy bits or athlete's foot. I'm unhappy with the way I look generally and most of them involve some way to remove the fat bits, like lasering off my stomach bulge and moobs, liquidising and digesting it out, or untying my belly button and squeezing it out.

21. I genuinely believe in faeries, magic and 'fictional' creatures such as dragons and unicorns. I think there has to be much more to this world than we take from it at first sight, and that most legends have to have a basis in fact.

1 comment:

Cath said...

You are a strange boy. and 18 is a fib; you hate my rabbit!