Tuesday, 31 July 2012

These bloggers are crazy!

I go a little crazy during sex. I mean, only a little, I'll grant you - I'm a measured guy, generally, but I can often get excited and emotional if I let go of my inhibitions (and thus I tend to do on occasion, to make me appear "interesting"), and when is a more opportune time to do so than while having sex?

I mean, yeah, sure, there's a limit. I don't go totally crazy. I don't bite; I don't claw. I barely even spank during sex if there isn't an indication that she'd want me to do so. But there's that one moment that we all experience, that almost total loss of control, that makes me go crazy.

I don't like being out of control, but then again, I don't like being in control either. I keep switching about. I know what I want - I like sex and want to have that experience. But her pleasure is important to me too - more so. So I tend to put my efforts into things that either I think, know, or hope she will enjoy. And to do that, sometimes I need to take control - do the things I know how to do, do them so she'll enjoy it. And sometimes I know she'll want to do something to me / for me, in which case I need to relinquish control, and let her have (almost) free rein over me. So it goes both ways.

If I were into BD/SM, I'd totally be calling myself a switch right now.

Sex with me must be an interesting experience. I, like I'd imagine all people, start off slow and pick up speed as and when desires, just as I start off in as balanced a way as I can - usually with an unmercifully stupid serious face - and then lose control towards the final throes. That's the point of no return; the bit where I can't stop. And who can blame me? Come to think of it, who can stop?

But I do go crazy. I stop short of turning feral, but I do go wild. Primal ILB? Hardly. But nevertheless, it's certainly buried there, somewhere, and - like the Creeper bursting out of Jack Ryder when the psychosis hits - it only takes something to bring it out. Fair enough, it's a pretty big something, but still, there's that one special moment that brings it out. Can I define it exactly? No, not really. Not at all. It's impossible to divine... but it's there, and I know when it hits. I just don't know much else afterwards. I'm too busy being crazy.

Oh, how I miss having sex.

1 comment:

Cath said...

Me too.

I like you crazy.