Monday, 11 June 2012

The Ten-Step Plan for Girlfriend Relaxation

1. Lie on back.
2. Receive a request to massage her bum and possibly back as well.
3. Process request and fulfill through creative use of right thigh in a circular motion, a bit like the movement of the final boss from Superfrog.
4. Right self and straddle her, applying moderate pressure with hands to the small of her back, in between shoulder blades, and dimples just above the posterior.
5. Sing The Coolest Dream by Jay Foreman.
6. Kiss areas previously applied pressure to by hands.
7. Slide down. Kiss bottom cheeks in succession without initiating sexual activity.
8. Slide back up and resume straddling. Apply firm pressure to either side of spine with thumbs, taking care to avoid first three cervical vertebrae. Drag hands down and back up again. Repeat.
9. Repeat steps 4 and 6 to 8 until satiated. Substitute choice of Jay Foreman song to replace step 5 if desired.
10. Attempt to elicit a response. If "mmmhr" is the response, followed by sleep, that is acceptable.

© 2012 ILB

2 comments:

Cath said...

You are amazing! Although you have sang to me in bed before, and massaged my bum in bed before, but it is the first time you've done both at once.

BiLikesSciFi said...

This is a lovely plan, lucky her!