Wednesday, 4 April 2012


I've been in this job for barely a week and already I'm feeling the twitch. Not to leave, or to change anything (although I might need to start bringing a camp bed to satiate both the want of something to do during the three-hour-or-so break I have in the middle of the day and the general haze of tiredness that I found plaguing me this morning), but to give in to my primal urges and sink back into the world of blogs and e-mails and Twitter and... well, general ILBness... that keeps me going.

I am well aware that when I feel down and out (and in this job that happens every now and again, of course), I simply remind myself that I am ILB, and that makes me feel like I have more of a sense of self-worth and stuff. And, of course, it's not like the idea of the ILB blog was to write about sex while I'm not busy with work (which is the reason you find me writing this post on a work computer in my break). But, with a few small exceptions, for the past year-and-a-half I've been out of work, and apart from actually putting any amount of effort into things every once in a while, it's almost a solid time period of just being ILB. It's difficult to throw myself in at the deep end and not feel the call to tap away at a keyboard and craft my post every once in a while.

Of course my evenings are different. I went to the Distraction Club last night and, although that's not a purely ILBased activity, it was ILB who promised @MsClara three hugs. And this weekend I have not only the Erotic Meet, and the proposed meetup of the same group on Saturday, but also Mane's little brother's birthday party (for which I really do need to sort out a costume tonight, as it's tomorrow and I need to get one ready if I can) - although, again, that's not an ILB thing.

I was standing in front of a group of clients today. They were all busy doing whatever it is they do when they're not addressing me directly and I found myself staring, not at them, but at the computer terminal. I opened GMail, and automatically typed in my ILB GMail address, as opposed to either of my others. Why? I don't know. It just happened. And so I checked and replied to some e-mails. I'm sure that nobody can begrudge me that, especially as I used private browsing. Nevertheless, it did feel a bit naughty, especially as I was checking the e-mail address that's got a large stockpile of naked pictures of my girlfriend a few clicks away. Not that I looked at any, of course... just in case.

And so I feel the twitch. What does a sex blogger do at work? Secretly update blogs? Have sex with someone via text while in a board meeting? Not wear any underwear? Shamelessly browse Tumblr? Masturbate in the toilets or, if you're feeling daring, at your seat? I really am very poorly-versed in this sort of thing, although I see it mentioned all the time on Twitter... what people are doing to stay sexy at work.

But I'm feeling the twitch. So, with limitations considering what I do... suggestions, people. Suggestions.


Liza said...

I make blog notes in secret code during work meetings. A few times I have workwanked in the ladies'. I do check in on Twitter from time to time. I have my blog reader set up on my phone so I can read a sexy entry from time to time. Those are probably the main things.

Liza said...

Oh, also, even though you may have used Private Browsing, if your company monitors usage, they will see your footprints even so. My company tracks every single click, but at least they let us know. So I do not check my blog, blog email, anything sexy, or anything that would link my real identity and my assumed one.

Mellie said...

It's a shame many people feel their job as a way to while away the hours... But hey, that's life in England. It's good that you have a way to escape from the monotony of a job that isn't best suited to you :) a three hour gap sounds horrible though!
I'm not that "sexy" nowadays so no tips on how to "stay sexy" at work hahaha

SexualBBW said...

I typed out a lovely long comment on my phone earlier and it wouldn't let me post it .. there's my punishment for doing it whilst at work eh?!

I recently struggled with a quandary .. my 'vanilla' (not quite the right term but I'm sure you get what I mean!) life is so very .. straight / boring / respectful that I have been made to feel that this online life of mine is wrong. I am coming to realise that it isn't wrong .. just a part of me that not everyone in my life would want to know about. Rather than shutting her away every now and again, I need to embrace her .. she is part of me after all!

I do tend to be careful at work though as these days, I just cannot afford to be fired if certain things got leaked. My company also monitor everything .. including the WiFi, what uses it and what it is used for .. and after recent scares I decided to cut back a lot ... until I got my iPhone back with 3G an can at least access Twitter, KIK and things through that.

Be careful is all I would say .. do whatever you feel comfortable doing and no more. Some days for me I do nothing even remotely sexy and other days I feel I can get away with more. Playing in the loos is something I have always steered clear of, but my blogging notebook is always on my desk. In fact today, I stifled a giggle when I was writing a blog post idea in it and the MD walked past and commented on the pretty cover ..!

Innocent Loverboy said...

Good point, but I can pretty much guarantee that my company aren't following anything any of us do - the other members of my department assure me that they've "never been caught" (although now I don't want to know what they were doing!). And I'm also pretty sure that nobody's following my keystrokes.
So I understand your concern, but I (hope) I'm OK!

Yeah, the split shift is a bit of a killer. I can do some supplementary stuff in the break, but essentially what I'm doing is waiting for... well, over three hours actually.
I'm not just spending time at work, thankfully. I like some bits of it - mostly the bits when I'm in contact with clients. It's the other bits I'm not too keen on.

Notebook. Now there's an idea.