OK, seriously, who came up with these questions? I feel all dirty now. I may have to wash my eyes or something.
1. Would you rather wear the same pair of unwashed socks for 2 years or wear the same pair of unwashed underwear for 1 year? Explain.
Socks. Because I can easily go without underwear, but socks are a necessity, due to the fact that my feet get cold really easily. I may have to take them off at some point, in order to wash my feet, but I don't think the question stipulates not wearing them at all.
Couldn't I just go naked for two weeks? I can think of some people that would be OK with that.
2. Would you rather eat a baby or be eaten by a giant baby? Explain.
Well, I wouldn't eat a baby, because I'm a vegetarian.
I actually find the concept of being eaten alive quite tasteless. I can't really watch Little Shop of Horrors without shuddering and I've never liked the muppet Big Mean Carl. I'll never read Not Now, Bernard to a child and have had to leave the room while it's being read. I think it's the worst way to go, with the immense amount of pain and terror when you're in the monster's mouth, especially if you're screaming for help or forgiveness. The scene with the T. Rex in Jurassic Park made me cry, but then again, I was about 10 when I saw it. They should have thought about that before showing it to a room full of schoolchildren.
So... tough choice. I wouldn't go against my principles for anything, but I have an innate fear of being eaten alive. I guess I'll have to skip this question. It's a bit of a lame question, anyway; eating a baby is probably something you'd choose to do, whereas getting eaten by a giant baby is probably something you don't have any choice about.
3. Would you rather steal money from your grandfather in the past or steal money from a grandchild in the future? Why?
As has been said by many people, this question doesn't really specify whose grandchild it is. So I'm going to imagine that the grandchild in the future has grown up to be a powerful media mogul, who hires personal friends to be corrupt aides, hacks the 'phones of dead people, and runs a website which steals other people's work and watermarks it. After all, those people have to have grandfathers at one point. I'd totally steal from them.
4. Would you rather be trapped in a cave full of vampire bats or put a large jar full of bees (opened) in your pants?
Bees. Because it doesn't actually say that you have to be wearing your pants at the time and therefore there's no real question here. Also, I don't like being trapped.
Both bats and bees are naturally defensive, rather than offensive, so I don't think I'd be in any immediate danger.
5. Would you rather be a person with a head that is noticeably big for your body or have a head that is disproportionately small compared to the rest of your body?
Head. Because I don't like my body shape anyway, and having a small head would make me look even fatter than I already am. Having a huge head wouldn't be fun, though, 'cause then I wouldn't be able to lick anyone out. Unless she happened to be straddling my mouth, and that would be tricky with a big ol' head as well.
Bonus: Would you rather have sex, with your significant other, in a sex club with all eyes and a spotlight on you... or would you rather get gang-banged & groped in darkness by a bunch of strangers?
I've never been to a sex club so I've no idea exactly what that would be like. But, as I've said before, I'm a bit insecure about my body image so I'd probably go for the darkness. Having said that, I don't exactly want to be gang-banged either, not since I read Goblin Market anyway. I'd probably have to go for the first option and suffer the ridicule instead, rather than the years of very expensive therapy I'd have to have otherwise.