Sunday, 27 November 2011

Soft Porn Sunday: Kate Vernon & Lou Diamond Phillips

So here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to watch this scene, review it, and then listen to Green Day.

Why Green Day? Well, I was struck by a wave of nostalgia last night and, for some reason, found myself transported back to my days in the sixth form, when my soundtrack was almost entirely Green Day (there was a smooth but pleasing transition to James in the upper sixth, though). I do, in fact, have practically all their albums, and their Pop Disaster tour in 2002 contained the first rock gig I ever went to (I'd been going to classical concerts since I was very young, but nevertheless...). As well as that and, you know, A-Levels, the main other thing I can remember from the sixth form is this film... the peculiarity being that it wasn't shown on Channel 5, or Bravo (which was the cust
om at the time), but BBC2. Very late at night, I'll grant you, but... BBC2.

Yeah, I know, right?

I overheard a fellow Green Day fan talking about it, although not mentioning it by name - and thus I knew to what he was referring. I didn't pipe up, as I wasn't at all as open about my sexual desires as I am now, but I knew what film he was talking about as I'd been watching it the previous night too. Everyone else in my clique looked bamboozled, but nevertheless...

So here's to a bit of my youth:

Appearance: Dangerous Touch (1994)
Characters: Amanda Grace & Mick Burroughs

This film had an odd review by a female viewer on IMDb, wherein she suggests you watch it in bed with a lover, which I suppo
se is more glamorous than watching it on my cranky old TV in my bedroom with all the lights off, but that's how I watched it. I was pretty amazed by the cinematography, but now I'm older and wiser I think that the plot has something to do with its appeal as well, and the sex scenes - few as they are - do contain this one little gem, which is what stuck in my memory like a piece of glass. I was pleased to find it for download, too.

The plot of Dangerous Touch is essentially a hustle thriller. The main character, Mick Burroughs, is a con man, essentially, and he meets at a book signing sex therapist Amanda Grace. Burroughs tries to seduce Grace, but she laughs him off. However, eventually (it involves a lot of pleading) they start a sexual relationship, and it becomes more apparent throughout that Burroughs is attempting to pull a blackmail heist and needs to be sleeping with Grace in order for it to work. Nice work if you can get it, I suppose.


It's their second sex scene that I want to share with you.

Burroughs takes grace back to a darkened house where they begin to kiss and things almost get steamy. Suddenly, there's the sound of a key turning in the lock.
"What's that?" says the sex therapist.
"It's
probably the guy who owns this house," quips Burroughs. That's right, ladies and gentlemen, they've broken into a house to have sex! Isn't that Burroughs a cad? I'm surprised they didn't get him played by Terry-Thomas!
Anyway, they escape through a window and climb into Burroughs' open-topped car... assuming it's his, anyway. It's an open-topped car, in any case, and they then drive to the middle of a public wood, because that's a much more private space to have sex.

Anyway.

"I can't believe you'd do something like that!" complains Grace.

"Neither can I," replies Burroughs, casually removing her knickers. (There's quite a lot of space in this car, right?)
"Really, I mean it!"
"I know you do." Removal of shirt with a casual throw over his shoulder.
"This doesn't mean I'm not still upset." Off comes the belt.
"I understand completely." He pulls his trousers down and she begins to climb on
...

... and his knee hits a huge, conveniently-placed button, which turns the radio on. Quite conveniently, the radio station happens to have been about to play Itty Bitty Pretty One, which starts just as just as penetration occurs.

And this is why the scene makes me cum.

Yes, she starts moving slowly, and more of her clothes come off as time goes on. And yes, there are the soft sighs and moans, which increase in volume (and pitch). And yes, the motion increases, and is very real. And yes, they're both nice to look at. And the scenery is very pleasant. But the real genius of this scene is the aforementioned song. If you've never heard Itty Bitty Pretty One, where the hell have you been? The song's intro builds up, and as it does, it gets louder and louder, eventually - seamlessly - segueing from background noise in the car's radio to full-on movie soundtrack overlay. And this, my lovelies, is good movie-making. I wouldn't have thought of it... but they've gone and done it. Don't hide this on BBC2 at midnight, media!

Grace, meanwhile, has spread both her arms out and is holding onto the sides of the car as she continues to ride Burroughs, still with the moans, which are getting almost desperate now. And just as our supposed orgasm happens... the scene stops. It's very sudden. But isn't it always?

This is a great scene. As I've said before, the main attraction for me is the choice of the song and the way they work it into the scene rather than just having it come out of nowhere. But it's the forest setting, the camera angles, the car, and even the whole set-up as well (gadzooks! not his house? the boundah!). Both girl and boy are attractive, there's no actual dominance of power (she's a sex therapist on top, and yet it's his car, his idea and he seduced her...), and the movements aren't even that fluid - fluidity is good but wouldn't work in this film. It's jerky, awkward and looks incredibly real. It doesn't even last that long and I doubt that spontaneous sex in a car in the middle of a forest would, really.

So, yes, if you can find it, do. I can't really remember much of the rest of the film (this was ten years ago, remember?) , but I did watch it all, so it must have been good. Check it out, I think it'll turn you on. Works for me, in any case.

And now if you'll excuse me, I have to put on some music and listen to some lyrics which suggest that the singer is both happy and angry at the same time.

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