1. You’re on a speed date. You’ve got 7 minutes with the potential partner. You already know the person’s name. What are the first three questions you would ask?
- Do you like chikity china, the chinese chicken?
- Have you a drumstick and your brain stops ticking?
- It's all about value, isn't it really?
2. Have you ever participated in speed dating? Did you get a regular date/second date out of it?
No, I haven't done speed dating. My mother suggested I do so once, but I don't think she'd get a work in edgeways (the date, not my mother); I can talk for 7 minutes without realising I'm doing so.
3. Do you participate in online dating? How many dates have you had as a result of online dating sites/matches?
I've tried, but not through conventional means. I mean, I've tried conventional means too, but they don't actually make much of a difference, even though my sister is still convinced I meet people off match.com. I've never actually had a romantic date from any sort of dating website. I don't really think they work.
But in answer to your question, yes, I met all three on the internet.
4. You are attracted to:
a. Who people are?
b. What people have?
c. What they can do?
Why don't you phrase this in the form of a question? Anyway, all three.
5. What “little red flag” will cause you to end a date or immediately decide this person isn’t for you?
I'm not the sort of person who would do something like that.
6. What do you feel you need to sacrifice or have sacrificed to be a part of a relationship?
Oh, Lord. I've sacrificed all I can before. I don't plan to do so, of course, but I've ended up doing so because of the relationships I've been in. The worst thing was that I had to sacrifice some of my most deeply-held values because they didn't gel with the person I was with, particularly. I got less tolerant after a while and all I got for protesting was a telling-off. See, I can't win.
7. If you cooked for your date, what would you cook?
Depends what they like. I've cooked for girlfriends before, and it's been a range of things, but then again, I rarely get to, so when I do, it's usually something planned. Generally with pasta in it. I like pasta.
8. At the end of a first date, how would you kiss your date?
a. Press your lips against theirs
b. Gentle kiss on the cheek
c. Lots o’ tongue, like you’re on a tonsil exploration
d. I don’t kiss on the first date
It depends how well the date went, surely?
This is, of course, a guess, as - I've said before - I've never done the traditional date thing, really. Not really. I suppose on the only occasions I've had what you could term a date, they've ended with a full-on snog, but we'd probably have been doing that already anyway. I don't know. These questions... were they written for 14-year-old American girls? Because they "date", allegedly.
Bonus: You just put up a profile on a dating site. You must describe yourself in 10 words or less. What are your 10 words?
I've done this before. They are usually, "I am not interested in viewing girls on webcam sites," in huge bold capital letters. And yet they still try to scam me! What the fuck?
Anyway, if you need me, I'll be in the North for the next few days. Ta-rah!