Or: "The Epic Battle of CD and DVD Drives, Part 3: Return Of The King"
I tried out my new drive today. Okay, fair enough, I got it in the post somewhere between holidays two and three, but apart from a really quick test of whatever DVD I had lying to hand (Wallace and Gromit, I think?), I hadn't really had either the chance of inclination to test the drive for what I would usually use it for - although I managed to have a full conversation with @JillyBoyd about soft porn without thinking of watching any, I was determined to not masturbate for three days before my holiday OMGZ SCANDAL - before today, whereupon I decided to try it out.
Quick history of this debacle: I broke my external CD/DVD drive with hard porn. My new netbook doesn't have an internal drive, and my old laptop doesn't appear to be able to ingest discs any more without leaving a sticky goop on them. I scavenged an old DVD player from the attic, watched soft porn on it once, used my mother's laptop illicitly for other reviews, and ordered a new drive from Amazon. This turned up, it didn't work. I sent it back and waited all of holiday one for any form of confirmation, which I didn't get. Eventually I got a refund, ordered another one, and now it is plugged in. Ta-dah! Easy.
The good news is that it plays DVDs. Hey, it also plays audio CDs as well. The bad news, however, is that - unlike the drive I had that is exactly the same model and make, it doesn't appear to be recognising anything home-made. This doesn't bother me insofar as how it relates to the DVD of the little film my cousins and I made last Christmas. It does, however, bother me that it still managed to render 20 CDRs of soft porn absolutely useless, still. Little square bastard.
I got home from my long walk today to find the house vacant. I knew it was vacant this time without having to ask the cat. (It's irrelevant, really, but I tried a new tactic: shouting "IS ANYBODY THERE?" at the top of my voice. It works just as effectively.) I texted my mother to find out where she was and when she'd be back, by I had already put one of my soft porn CDRs into her laptop, which she had foolishly left turned on, and on the kitchen table. A 4GB Transcend USB stick was in the port, and the MPEGs were merrily transferring across. I was casually sipping tea, and life was good.
Screw you, drive. I'll have my soft porn.
Only I had to think of someone sexy to actually orgasm, as the few files I managed to transfer over didn't work too well. Nevertheless, it's a matter of pride, right?