Monday, 15 August 2011


Kiss me beneath the milky twilight
Lead me out on the moonlit floor
Lift your open hand
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance
Silver moon's sparkling
So kiss me

I was struck by the sudden urge to kiss earlier on. One of the things I missed the most while being single was kissing, and now that I'm dating someone sexy - the worst-kept secret in the world - I'm loving the chance to kiss again. And, as I've said before, I was her first kiss, which I'm happy about to an almost insane degree.

Doesn't mean I don't still miss it though.

During my teenage years, and sixth form in particular, where hormones ran rampant, snogging someone was a form of currency in some quarters, and I still didn't get to do any. We had arrogant gits snogging girls because they could (although Glod knows how), in some cases getting a commitment-free kiss out of the deal and in some cases playing with their hearts (and guess who got to pick up the pieces?). And then in university there were some people - I can think of one in particular - who kissed someone different every single night, including in one case the girl I was dancing with twenty seconds earlier. These people deemed a kiss of very little consequence.

But I've always seen it as something particularly special. I'll agree that not every kiss needs to be, but since every time I've kissed someone it's been someone I care about deeply, the act of pressing one's lips against someone else's holds a special significance for me. And since rediscovering how pleasurable it can be, I want it more and more and more, and I was struck suddenly, this evening, by the almost instant urge to kiss - to slide my tongue into her mouth, to taste her, feeling her teeth, her tongue, the inside of her cheeks - to savour, to pleasure, to love.

When I kissed her on my second date, I opened my eyes briefly. And I saw, apart from the freckles on her cheek, her eyes closed, her hair falling down over her shoulders. She looked happy, contented, blissful. And it was the kiss, the kiss that did it.

I've nothing against my cousin and her fiancée kissing, not even in the swimming pool. If they want to display affection, why not? We are, after all, on holiday. But I want to. I want to as well. I miss it and I have the urge. Such an urge...

1 comment:

Catharine said...

This post is so cute! I love that you loved being my first kiss. It makes me ridiculously happy too. I never thought anyone would, I guess partly because who'd even expect to encounter an unkissed 25 year old?

Some of my friends seemed to spend their teens snogging anything that moved. I remember one friend looking particularly concerned after a boring preachy lesson about HIV because "apparently if you drink 7 pints of spit you get AIDS!"