My sister brought her MacBook through into my bedroom yesterday and sat on my bed. "I'm typing this," she typed, "because I don't want the parents to hear. I know they're downstairs, and they could be listening." I nodded sagely, as I know the feeling.
She disclosed a secret to me... that she is 'seeing' someone.
This is hardly a revelation. All the signs were there - she has been fending off advances by people with unusual gusto, whereas what she usually does is just give in, hence her sleeping with the young raver, or letting boys buy her things. Suddenly turning unavailable is her signal for "I'm attached," and everyone's noticed this, most of all my parents, hence their recent confusion about her. She's been a bit of a bitch to me, as well, which was sort of explained in her text-based communications yesterday.
The man she is seeing is married.
So, yeah, apparently, this man's wife is a bitch. She claims (my sister, not his wife) that their marriage is ending. Ending, rather than ended. It's been ending for a while - eight months, it seems. Now, I have mixed feelings about this.
While I appreciate that extramarital affairs happen a lot more than anyone is comfortable admitting (and this is what she referred to it as, an affair), I don't like it. I know some marriages don't work, either, and that some come to an end, sad as this is. And I'll accept that that's the best thing to happen. Nevertheless, what I can't abide is somebody dumping somebody for somebody else. That I can't accept.
I get it, follow your heart, or whatever. But, having had it happen to me in the past, I know how deeply that cuts. What happened to me was worse, because I was being used as a fallback, in case Rebecca's new relationship didn't work out. I was old news for two weeks, and the utterly moronic thing is that I knew something was happening all along, and didn't want to say anything. But it devastated me when it all happened, and when the same thing happened to a friend-with-a-massive-penis a couple of years later, I was straight in there with a sympathetic ear, one that had been there before. (With him it was the same timescale... two weeks).
My sister said, briefly, that he wasn't leaving his wife for her. With nothing else to go on, I guess I believe that. But why didn't he get out of his marriage at any point beforehand? If he wanted a divorce, why didn't he get one a year ago, thereby ending it all months before he even knew who my sister was? Well, the thing is.
He has kids. Three or four of them.
And evidently that throws a spanner in the works. Because you can't just end a marriage and walk off if you have children. Well, you can, but anyone with at least half a heart won't. He will, according to my sister, have THE TALK with his wife, and then with his children - but to be honest, I don't see then taking any of this well. Their parents breaking up, and then their father being with a new girl half his age. That doesn't sound like something that belongs outside of a psychiatrist's office, really.
The age difference doesn't really bother me as much as it might. She's 21 and he's 40. Yes, it's a massive age gap, but it's two consenting adults, and I slept with an older woman when I was 21, so I'm not really one to judge.
Oh, and apparently, they're in love.
I'm not sure I believe that, either. But she's certainly keen on him - by the way she talks and acts. After a party we went to yesterday (and that was pretty painful, but interesting in odd ways, if you've been following me on Twitter you'll know what I mean), I was tasked with helping her sneak him into our house at 4am - I was, of course, trying to get to sleep at 4am, but my job was to give the all-clear (is es, making sure our parents were asleep while they sneaked up to the attic), and this required a quick BBM, which I did - grouchily. Then turned my 'phone off, to give it - and me - some needed rest.
I don't even know this guy's name. Nor his face. All I know is he's a policeman.
So... this is an interesting development. I'm not sure how I feel about it, never mind how I'm meant to feel about it. Part of me says that there's nothing seriously wrong going on here, but he's still married. And if it were just sex, well, it'd be wrong too, but this is love, allegedly. Which makes it complicated. And there are children involved, which also makes it very difficult. I know she likes his children, but that's not really the point here.
Nor is it any of my business. I just wonder how deep she's going to ask me to go before I feel the need to voice any concerns.
I need a holiday.