I could do with a cuddle. I know that's not particularly unique. I think everyone needs a little warmth and affection in their lives (with the possible exception of George Osborne, whose eyes have a really dead look in them - I saw him sitting there on Prime Minister's Questions today and it was scary)... but at the moment cuddles are utmost on my mind. Well, cuddles and the closing riff to I'm Proud of the BBC. It's just there. I don't know why.
Insofar as my mood goes, it's up and down like John Yossarian's penis. The pattern tends to be that if my dad wakes me up by opening my door, shouting at me to get up and then slamming the door, it's going to be a bad day. On the other hand, yesterday I got up early to give my mother a birthday present, stayed up and gradually woke myself by the grace of coffee and muesli, and that was a good day.
47 came over yesterday to rehearse, because I'm in his band. I didn't know this until a couple of days ago. Then again, he's in my band and I'm keen on repaying the favour. I'm less keen on the stuff I've been asked to play, mostly because I can't play it. So, en route to Germany (which is pretty hardcore), he stopped at my house and we set up the studio to play through his new album. By which I mean I got really frustrated at my inability to play any chords more complicated than Fmaj7. I did OK with the bass guitar though. Anyway, that's not really the point.
The point is that I have blistered fingers, aching arms, stiff limbs and I did something to my right little finger during rehearsal - I'm not even sure what it is, but it made me swear loudly and it still hurts. Ouch.
I eventually got to bed at about midnight, which is my usual bedtime. That didn't mean I was asleep, of course - I tried, but it didn't work. My last memory of last night is pretending that Oxford was someone sexy and that I was spooning them, superimposed by my dad coming into my room, not even managing the five letters in the phrase "get up", and then leaving. I think I might sleep in the studio tonight, that'll give him a shock tomorrow morning.
Anyway, so today I feel heavy and sluggish. I'm aching a bit, worried a lot, and frustrated, which is my default setting anyway. I probably wouldn't even want to have sex at the moment (although give me half an hour and I'm sure I'd manage it), even though I'm thinking about it (and oh, the things I am thinking). I just want to be cuddled, and to cuddle in return. I mean, it's summer now. What's the point of summer if there aren't any cuddles? I mean, really.
I guess I'll just save up my cuddles for now. I won't be getting any for a while, sadly, and if I start investing now, the next person I cuddle may just have some form of divine experience. Hey, it's worth a try.