Thursday, 26 May 2011

I'm Camp

I'm going to camp tomorrow. Unfortunately, this is not a sexy prospect.

With the exception of work making it impossible for the past couple of years, I've been to Woodcraft camp every year since I was 6. I love everything about it - the songs, the campfire, the tents, the activities, the meals, the large amounts of tea, everything. Everything ever about camp.

There's usually a lot of sex at Woodcraft events. National Woodcraft, anyway. For those of you who don't know much about Woodcraft, it's split up into districts, which are self-governing. Like the Scouts, only better. Occasional events happen for certain age groups, such as DFs (16-to-20-year-olds), which are national events. Our district is very insular and, as such, I remain the only one who ever attended a DF event. In fact, I went to more than one. I've actually lost count of the amount of DF events I went to. It was a lot. And there was a lot of sex.

This is hardly surprising. A load of liberated 16-to-20-year-olds put together in a residential setting (whether tents or a large house with rented rooms) - it doesn't take a genius. There's that time when we found two of our number naked in a sleeping bag together and I had to hold onto the wall to stop myself from falling over as I was laughing so hard. There's the time that one of my friends was going to have sex with a guy and his girlfriend - the girlfriend refused, but my friend and the guy had sex anyway. There's the duct-tape-used-as-bondage-tape incident. There's the fabled four-person orgy that happened at the event after I left. There's the girl stripping off because one of our number was leaving and he'd never seen her naked. There's the time we shone torches at a tent so we got a silhouette of its inhabitants having lots of sex. And there's the time I snogged my crush. But she was very drunk at the time so it doesn't really count. Plus, it didn't go any further than that.

I never had sex at DF camp. I was just one of those people that didn't. But it's OK, I never got sex anywhere else, either.

My district's camps aren't like that. There have been the occasional inter-member relationships, but they've never gotten very far. In fact, everyone in our group who's had a long-term relationship has been with someone from "outside". I can think of a few camps where kissing has occurred (also not involving me), or more often random licks of cheeks (our variant of a pulling game, perhaps?), but no actual sex.

Last year's spring camp was something else I didn't go on, but Robinson brought his girlfriend along, and they shared a tent, so maybe it happened then. I wasn't there so I don't know. And there was that time when we shared a campsite with a district from Bradford. Hairy Friend shared a tent with a girl from that district for one night. I was also in the tent, mind you, but Glod knows what might have happened if I wasn't. Hairy Friend was, however, dating one of my sister's friends at the time, so maybe it was a bit of a blessing that that didn't go anywhere either.

But it's quite nice to know that sex isn't going to be happening. I loved DF camps, because they were so incestuous, with lots of alcohol and the occasional spliff, but mostly they were full of music, jokes, games and fun. My district's camps are always like that too, minus alcohol and drugs, and of course the sex, but still they're a lot of fun. It's wholesome, healthy, and frivolous fun, with activities, games, songs, and of course, interesting conversations at night. With no expectations of any sort of sexual performance, a lot of the pressure is taken off, and although that is - in some ways - a bit of a shame, I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Now somebody make it stop raining.

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