Sunday, 17 April 2011

Soft Porn Sunday: Jennifer Burton & Kevin E. West

I wonder what that E. stands for. I guess it'll always be a mystery, like the E in E. Edward Grey from Secretary.

Appearance: Click - Sex, Lies & Politics (1997) - aka Sexual Dependence Day
Characters: Officer Shelley & Ron Slick

OK, so I'm not a major fan of the Click series. The basic premise is a bit too far-fetched for me, and when you consider that I like softcore films which involve time-travel, a female Sheriff of Nottingham, alien female sex clones, lesbian cyborgs and a planet populated entirely by women, that really is saying something. It's never really explained, but there's this... thing, a bit like a remote, that you click (hence the unoriginal title) and that makes you horny. Cue the sex. That's about it.


In
this scene, Ron Slick (another wildly original name there), who is a lobbyist, is being arrested by Officer Shelley. Why? No idea. He's called "Ron Slick". That's enough of a clue. They end up having sex via the power of a click!

I like this scene mostly (all right, entirely) because of the set-up. After some hilariously non-threatening banter - "Why are you lying to us, Ron?" - Shelley finds the clicky thing and clicks it, despite Ron's (feeble) protest. As he continues to be an idiot, Shelley gets visually quite aroused, and radios to her colleague to tell him that she's got a couple more questions she wants to ask. Yeah, we all know what that means.

A bit more banter, although this time with suggestive use of truncheon - "Call me Shelley, and that's an order!" - and then we cut to the other officer, Murray, played by Vince Cole, who is making his own arrest. And then this happens:

[Murray checks his radio.]
Murray: "Yo, Shelley! What the hell's goin' on up there?"

[Unmistakable sounds of sex from the radio.]
Shelley: "Oh! Um, aah, checkin' the suspect. Oh! Be down in a few... oh!"
Prisoner: "Sounds like one hell of an interrogation."
[Murray nods.]

That's an okay set-up. But wait, there's more! Immediately we get the music, drum beats heralding some sort of hybrid between rock and dinner jazz, overlaying - and this is the bit that turns me on the most - a camera panning over discarded clothes in a line, including Officer Shelley's holster, uniform and badge. And then we slowly see more and more of what Shelley and Ron are doing. Yes, they're having sex, the policewoman still dominant as she is sitting on him, riding him very passionately indeed!

As we see this from various angles (top-down and side-on, mostly), more is revealed - she's handcuffed him to the
wall, they're sitting on a red trunk or some description, his legs are splayed quite wide, she has a visible bikini line, and her breasts are nice and perky. Towards the end of the scene, she picks up her pace, and just when he thinks it's all over - he makes his fatal mistake of asking, "could you, er... uncuff me now?"

"Oh, no way," says the officer, grinning. "I've got a lot more information to extract from you."
"Oh, boy," says Ron, as we fade out, but hear Shelley's moans as she starts to ride him again.

I don't know what he's complaining about. If he's having sex with a hot policewoman without having said anything at all seductive, I want that clicky thing.

It's odd to think of this scene as anything but a bit of whimsy, as it's obviously meant to be a bit comedic as well as hot. It sounds, from what I've said, like this is a dom/sub sort of scene. It's not at all. Shelley plays a police officer and therefore she is in control al the way through the scene - even when she is starting to lose control of her body. She gets her man, she handcuffs him to the wall, and she's on top of him throughout the sex. And then we have the ending, which has her continuing, even though he's clearly not too keen to carry on (again - idiot). But it's not meant to be a BDSM follower's wet dream. There's a little bit of the elements there, but this is soft porn - it's not meant to convey anything except a lot of skin.

Plus, I'm not really into BDSM much anyway - so why do I like it? As I said, the set-up. It's original, it's fun, and I love the clothesline effect. The little funny scene with Officer Murray is good, too. So yeah, while I wouldn't usually recommend the Click series much, this scene is worth a look, because for some reason it works for me. You have to watch it all the way through, though... don't just skip to the sex; that's lazy!

You can watch this one online here. Tell me what you think!

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