Sunday, 10 April 2011

Dihydrogen Monoxide

I feel like I need some sort of detoxification. Even if that isn't a real word, I need it. I guess I just feel somewhat unhealthy at the moment. There hasn't really been any massive change in my diet or activities (although maybe that is a contributing factor!) recently, but I don't feel... well, not well. I don't feel unwell. I just don't feel right. I feel like something's kind of missing. Something more than sex. I'll always miss sex if it's not happening, I'm only (mostly) human.

Maybe it is the lack of sex, if that doesn't make me sound shallow. Even if it does, I'm sticking with it. As I said years ago, I'm more up for flirtation in the summer. And sex. Everyone is. It's not quite summer yet, but the weather appears to be pretending that it is - and that's good enough for me. It's also the first summer that I haven't had a girlfriend for over three years. Maybe my body is getting a little nervy. I wouldn't blame it.

Anyway. I'm detoxing on water. Fair enough, so I had a Diet Coke at lunchtime, but that's the first drink that isn't water that I've had in the past two days or so. I'm sort of proud of this. Sort of. I actually like water, so it's not exactly difficult. But I do like taste - and water isn't really great in that department. It tastes of, well, water. Water's been given quite a bad press by semantics though - when something's "watery" it's too limp or runny. When a smile is "watery" it's too weak. When a drink "tastes like coloured water" it's bland. And when a creature "crawls out of the water" it's considered, unfairly I might add, to be a lowly beast.

But water is supposed to be healthy. It's the basis of all known life, for Glod's sake. And a well-regulated flow of water through the human body - especially one that uses the toilet regularly and has a fairly frequent sexual release (ejaculate fluid is mostly water, guys and girls) - is meant to be very good for you. There are those Volvic adverts that show people performing superhuman feats of endurance after drinking their natural mineral water for a week. I'm using the tap variety - I doubt it's much different. Plus, it's cheaper.

I haven't felt any effects yet. But back when I had that job - the one that I failed - and earlier on in my TA days (both jobs that required me to be on my feet almost constantly), it was taking the occasional mouthful of water that seemed to keep me awake. And that's natural refreshment, apparently.

Besides, I'm doing this to detox. And the intention's there! And that's the important thing, right...?


No comments: